APRIL 20, 2016

Sergio Marchionne. Editor-In-Chief's Note: As if last week's pronouncements from "The Great Sergio" weren't tedious enough, he felt compelled to chime in about the hoopla surrounding the Tesla Model 3, to wit: “If Elon shows me he can make that car profitable at that price, very humbly I will copy the formula, add Italian design flair and get it to the market within twelve months.” That's about the stupidest thing to come out of Sergio's mouth - among a treasure trove of stupid things - I've heard since he was gifted Chrysler's assets for a song. Remember, this is the corporate charlatan who has made promise after promise about a host of things, oh, let's see, where should I begin? The fact that he insisted that Alfa Romeo will be "the next Audi" by 2018; or the fact that he based his pitch to the Obama administration to grab Chrysler's assets by saying that he would flood America's streets with a brace of fuel-efficient machines that would take the American market by storm; or that he would fix Chrysler's piss-poor quality reputation once and for all. Let me comment on that last one, for starters. FCA has demonstrated repeatedly that they are simply incapable of building a quality product, having camped at the bottom rung of every quality survey since Marchionne and his espresso-swilling minions took over the company. And that's not about to change anytime soon. As for the whole fuel-efficient car thing, if Sergio closes or mothballs anymore car plants FCA will simply cease to be in the car business here, period. Maybe Sergio should abandon all pretenses of building mainstream cars and just focus on selling Jeeps, Ram trucks, minivans, a few hot rods and police cars. And finally, the whole Alfa Romeo thing is such a recurring joke that now most - but not all - of the sycophants in the automotive media have finally started to ignore Sergio every time he utters the name "Alfa Romeo." For good reason too. Taking all of that into consideration and knowing Sergio's serial boasting knows no bounds - even though it is entirely devoid of even a shred of credibility - to hear him make that pronouncement about copying the Tesla Model 3 formula is borderline deranged. FCA has no advanced technology capability, it has demonstrated repeatedly that it is simply incapable of building a quality product and the company's inconsistent track record of launching cars that are either delayed or flat-out late - with built-in quality glitches to boot - makes his statement even more ludicrous. The guy is just flat-out pathetic and I can't wait for this carpetbagging mercenary to be long gone. -PMD

Cadillac. Editor-In-Chief's Note: To sit around and watch Cadillac flail about while spinning its wheels in the market has become too much to bear. Remember, this is a car company that has one - count 'em - you're gonna pay sticker for it, hit product: the Escalade. Yes, the V-Series cars are superb but their sales numbers don't amount to anything. And the ATS and CTS are simply unmovable in the market without cash or lease incentives. And now here comes the much-vaunted CT6, a car with great technical promise but with such low - as in less-than-zero - name recognition that it's going to take years - and a ton of money - to convince the American consumer public to take a serious look. Add to that the fact that right now Cadillac is doing some of the worst advertising in the business and you have a train wreck of epic proportions. Uwe Ellinghaus, Cadillac's chief marketing honcho, insists that the advertising isn't aimed at the real world, but only at the time warp that exists in the minds of millennials, so we're all excused because we're not hip enough to understand. What a bunch of unmitigated bullshit. That's analogous to a tragically self-important car designer explaining that his or her disastrously ungainly design isn't for you, that you're just not hip enough to understand. Look, here's the deal: I understand bad advertising when I see it and I've been around long enough to know how crap ad work gets done. And the campaign for the CT6 is flat-out crap advertising at its most offensive. It's remarkably uninspired and it leaves the distinct impression that Cadillac is simply phoning it in. And it begs the question, WTF is Cadillac? And why should I care? Add to that the fact that the spots are topped-off with a sullen and shockingly juvenile-sounding female voiceover and you have a recipe for a giant bowl of Not Good. It is advertising that simply doesn't do the product any justice whatsoever. Ellinghaus can talk all day long about the fact that his advertising isn't meant for the rest of us, but instead only aimed at the millennials that he hopes and prays will make up the future foundation of brand, but who is he kidding? Millennials aren't buying Cadillacs anytime soon, it's the rest of us who might consider Cadillac and it's the rest of us who will actually make a difference when it comes to growing sales for the brand. Ellinghaus needs to separate himself from the haze generated from the thought balloons of his precious millennial marketing posse and start making effective advertising that's worthy of the brand. Because this ain't it. -PMD

(Photo by Bret Kelley/IMS for Chevrolet)
Roger Penske will drive a special 2017 Camaro SS 50th Anniversary Edition pace car to lead the field for the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana. Penske, who is celebrating 50 years in racing and is by far the most successful team owner in American racing history, has sixteen wins in the Indy 500, a record that may never be broken. “Chevrolet and the Indianapolis 500 have a long, storied history and it’s an honor to mark the respective milestones of the Indy 500 race and the Camaro simultaneously,” said Mark Reuss, executive vice president of Global Product Development and Global Purchasing and Supply Chain. “It’s also a privilege to have Roger Penske perform the driving duties, as his team has helped Chevrolet earn four consecutive IndyCar manufacturer titles since 2012.” Four identically prepared pace cars will support the race, all with exclusive Abalone White exteriors featuring “100th Running of the Indianapolis 500” graphics on the doors and the iconic Indianapolis Motor Speedway wing-and-wheel logo on the quarter panels. They also incorporate the exterior cues and graphics that are unique to the Camaro 50th Anniversary package that goes on sale this summer (although those production vehicles will only be available in Nightfall Gray Metallic). And with 455 horsepower on tap, the Camaro SS pace cars will require no performance modifications to lead the racing field. It will be the ninth time a Camaro has served as the pace car and the 27th time for Chevrolet, dating back to 1948.

(BMW)
Rather than quoting from the long-winded press release, this is all you really need to know: American supermodel Gigi Hadid is featured in the new digital campaign - and YouTube film - for the BMW M2 Coupé launch called “Eyes on Gigi.” Over and out.

(BMW images)
BMW says that the new M4 GTS takes the BMW M4 Coupe to a new level. Aimed squarely at the race track, the BMW M4 GTS adds innovative water injection technology to give the 3.0-liter, six-cylinder turbo a substantial power boost to 500HP and increases torque to 442 lb-ft, yet still keeps fuel economy and CO2 emissions at the level of the BMW M4 Coupe, according to BMW. The BMW M4 GTS goes 0 to 62 mph in 3.8 seconds and hits a top speed of 189.5 mph (electronically limited). It turned a lap time of 7.28 minutes around the legendary Nürburgring-Nordschleife. BMW M GmbH is launching the BMW M4 GTS in a special edition limited to 700 units to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the BMW M3, which has been in production since 1986. The first high-performance special edition in the M3/M4 model range will also be available for the first time in the North American market.

Editor's Note: Ford has just released “The Cutting Edge” - the second of five chapters in “The Return,” which is a long-form documentary that follows the development of both the street car and race car versions of the Ford GT from the decision to build the cars to the return to the 24 Hours of Le Mans. Watch chapter one, "The Decision," here. (FYI: The Autoextremist makes a cameo appearance in chapter one.) -WG