No. 889
March 22, 2017
 

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King of the World.

I've decided to play FCA head just for the fun of it and list all of the things I am no longer interested in acquiring. So far I've come up with:

Berkshire Hathaway, Condé Nast, PepsiCo, The Krupps Diamond, Ryan Gosling, Portugal, Jupiter and its more important moons (leave the smaller ones for time-shares) Oh and VW Group, just because Uncle Sergio says it's a bad idea and today's a sweater day.

So today's big acquisitions will have to be limited to some gas for the car and a small Frappuccino, since I also decided against just buying Starbucks and Shell.

Tom Pease
AE's L.A.-based correspondent
Beverly Hills, California

 

 

WTF, indeed.

Chevy's current ad campaign is painful to watch. Bring in a group of skeptical buyers and show them the awards Chevy has won, while a door opens to show them a vehicle they can't believe is a Chevy. Who thought up this shit? And I thought the Buick ads were abysmal; Chevy ranks even higher on the shit show-merical scale. Chevy presents their awards, the new special edition trucks, then ends the ad with 0% financing and huge cash back savings. WTF.

JRR
Plymouth, Michigan

 

 

GM marketing? An oxymoron.

Couldn't agree with JRR more – the Chevy ads are pathetic. Bring in some clueless clods who must still be driving a 90's Cavalier and “surprise” them with the tech on a new Chevy. Never mind that everybody else has the same stuff. Look – a hatchback! BFD. Or how about a “Special Edition” Chevy truck? Don't like black? That's OK, we've got SIX, or maybe SEVEN different ones! "Cause we don't know what you really like, so just buy one OK? Please? How about red?" Meanwhile, Ford sells every Raptor it can crank out of the factory. GM marketing is an embarrassment, and I don't even drive GM.

Dave G.
Calgary, Alberta, Canada




Goodnight, everybody, don't forget to tip your servers!


Piech is currently retired, and The Great Sergio is on his way. Just think, Elon Musk could hire them both to run Tesla, and you could call them the ‘Axis of Electrons’.

J. Wilson
Nashville, Tennessee




Breaking it down.

Finally! A summary of the thrilling GTLM race at Sebring. Thank you for capturing the event that had this bored motor sport enthusiast yelling at my TV... I was hoping someone would notice and help me understand it.

SW
Detroit, Michigan




The WEC? It is anti-U.S. racing.

Congrats on a great summary of Sebring. It is my favorite race and track. It is a shame it is not the site of the WEC in the US!

EJC
Hackensack, New Jersey



 

NASCAR: Same As It Ever Was.

Nascar's announcement that they are adding a restrictor-plate and playing with the rear spoiler/splitter sizes for the upcoming Brickyard Xfinity race does prove that you can keep taking the same pig to the State Fair year after year. All you have to do is tie a different colored ribbon on its tail. They have said that this should not lead to pack racing ala Daytona and Talladega as groups will be racing among themselves. The anticipated success of this band-aid will then be transferred to the 2018 Brickyard Monster Energy event. Also stated was that the road course at The Speedway doesn't appear to have any merit. Say “Goodnight” Gracie.

Fred McKenna
St. Louis, Missouri



Sergio's Folly.

Sergio's great achievement may just be to drive Chrysler out of the passenger car business. Chrysler is a line of exactly one car and one minivan, and the car is parked on a banana peel. And reimagining Dodge as a “performance” line instead of a full-line brand is incredibly stupid, considering the Challenger has never been on the same level as the Mustang and Camaro, they've canceled the Viper for good, and historically bad Chrysler quality makes most people think twice about anything the current company offers. Sergio only got Chrysler in the first place because of $4 a gallon gas and a worldwide recession, and eight years later Chrysler is still having to buy CAFE credits at the end of the year. It's only due to cheaper gas that Jeep and Ram are doing so well (although Jeep at least is a worldwide play, Ram North America only). Considering the current presidential administration is in thrall to failed petrostate Russia, how long do you think it will be until gas is $4 a gallon again? And who will be the next CEO to get Chrysler (and Fiat/Alfa/Maserati) at a fire-sale price?

Francis Volpe
Carlisle, Pennsylvania