ON THE TABLE - MARCH 26, 2014

Dan Neil. The ace writer lambastes (deservedly) the Fiat 500L in this week's "Rumble Seat" column in The Wall Street Journal to wit: "... Actually, the 500L (front-drive, five-door liftback) corners like the world's smallest '65 Pontiac Bonneville. At engine speeds below 2,250 rpm, there is no one home torque-wise. You hit the gas and time stands still, a la "The Matrix." And the six-speed manual gearbox is the vaguest, wobbliest such mechanism I've encountered since I was winning dance contests in my three-piece suit. This thing isn't a transmission. It is an intermission." And that's our AE Quote of the Week. Editor-in-Chief's Note: To me the 500L embodies every last cynical detail that underpins the reality of Sergio Marchionne's carpet-bagging mission to take over Chrysler. Left to their own devices, the Italians design, build and engineer unmitigated crap (I'm leaving Ferrari out of this discussion obviously). Any success that Fiat Chrysler has achieved has come on the backs of the True Believers in Auburn Hills who stayed the course through the relentless chaos rained down upon them by first Daimler, then Cerberus and now Fiat. Marchionne is quick to take credit for the "miracle" that he performed by saving "The Unfortunates" of Chrysler from themselves and that is such relentless bullshit it's laughable. The only "miracle" that happened in Auburn Hills came from the True Believers who designed, engineered and built the trucks and Jeeps that are the sole provider of profit to the otherwise crumbling FCA enterprise. And so it goes. - PMD

 The Viper. Editor-in-Chief's Note: First it was the news that the production of the Viper was being put on hold due to lackluster sales. (Okay, sales have more accurately ground to a halt.) Now the news, as first reported by Steven Cole Smith, is that the SRT Viper GTLM racing team will not be making the trip to the 24 Hours of Le Mans, even though they were officially invited by the organizers (which is a big deal if you know anything about how the ACO comes up with its list of invitees to the French endurance classic). None of this bodes well for the SRT Viper program, to say the least. But none of this is really a surprise, either. Whether it's the fact that the "new" Viper turned out to be too much of a rehash of the previous generation car to begin with, or the fact that the new Corvette is so damn good that it just hammered any chance the Viper had of succeeding, the reality is that the Viper - as a program - is on the ropes. - PMD

(Ford)

As part of the celebration for the all-new 2015 Ford Mustang, Ford will display the car on the 86th floor observation deck of the Empire State Building this April - just as it did for the launch of the original Mustang during the 1964 World’s Fair in New York. And now, as then, a Mustang will be sliced into sections and transported 86 floors up via elevator - the only way to achieve such a feat, as delivery by crane or helicopter is impossible. In 1965, a prototype Mustang convertible was sliced into three main sections plus windshield so that the sections would fit into the elevators. The 2015 Mustang is nearly seven inches longer and four inches wider than its ancestor, which makes the task of transporting it up even more challenging. Visitors to the Empire State Building observation deck can see the new Mustang convertible for 54 hours from 8 a.m. to 2 a.m., April 16-17.

(Ford)
The Mustang gets prepped for its trip to the 86th floor of the Empire State Building.

(Ford)

(Images courtesy of Porsche)
With the factory's return to the 24 Hours of Le Mans in June, the Porsche Museum in Stuttgart-Zuffenhausen is presenting a comprehensive special exhibition - “24 Hours for Eternity” - focusing on the world's most important endurance event from March 26 to July 13, 2014. Porsche is not only taking a look back at its multiple previous successes at the French endurance classic, it is presenting its 2014 Porsche 919 Hybrid to the public for the first time. The exhibition at the Porsche Museum has been transformed to look like Le Mans, with the 1951 race marking the beginning of the special exhibition. Reenactments of racing situations from the victorious racing years on life-sized wall art and track sections, such as the Hunaudières straight, will guide the museum visitor through the special exhibition.  More than 20 different racing machines tell the unique and exciting history of Porsche at the legendary 24-hour race. Alongside the 919 Hybrid, the 1969 Porsche 908/2 Spyder long tail, the 1971 Porsche 911 T/R, the 1974 Porsche 911 3.0 RSR and the 1981 Porsche 936/81 Spyder will be on display. The Porsche 936, which won in 1976 and 1977 and reached a top speed of 223 mph, will also be there. On the weekend of the race, the Porsche Museum will be open for the first time for more than 24 hours straight, from Saturday, June 14, starting at 9:00 a.m., until Sunday, June 15, 6:00 p.m. Visitors and fans of the endurance race can follow the race live as part of a public viewing program on several monitors inside and around the museum building. Entrance is free of charge on this racing weekend.