ON THE TABLE

August 19, 200 9

VW. Volkswagen dumped its ad agency - Crispin Porter & Bogusky - after four years because, "Our goal of rapidly increasing our volume in a mature market requires the Volkswagen brand to evolve into a more relevant mainstream choice," said Tim Ellis, vice president of marketing. Oooooh, baby, we sure don't like the sounds of that. VW the "relevant mainstream choice?" As long as the Germanic propensity to over-gadget and over-charge continues to dominate their thinking it's just notgonnahappen.com. "The Volkswagen brand needs to inspire our base of enthusiasts as well as reach out and captivate those in mainstream America," Ellis continued. Really? The Autoextremist version of that statement would have been more appropriate: "We've done a piss-poor job with our enthusiasts and anyone else in the U.S. auto market for that matter, and since headquarters is the Kingdom of Delusional Thinking we have to show them something, anything at this point to buy us - and our dealers - some time until the next 'big idea' is dumped on us from Germany." Why do we smell a train wreck brewing here? This is an XXXL-sized pair of lederhosen of Not Good.

Crispin Porter & Bogusky. Not that we were ever fans of this band of arrogant, over-hyped, self-indulgent ad twerps and their tedious, "look it us, we're so hip and you're not" style of grating and inevitably annoying "advertising," but we will give them props today for basically telling VW to go fuck themselves by declining the automaker's invite to participate in the $200 million account review. That's the best ad move you guys have made in, well, years.

Cash-for-clunkers program. According to an Automotive News survey, too many dealers haven't been paid for their clunker deals, and now some of them are ending their participation, or thinking about it. (CEO Mike Jackson told CNBC today that the government owes his company about $45 million in rebates.) And our government is going to "fix" the health care system? Yikes.

The U.S. automakers. Cadillac tied Lexus as the brand giving the most customer satisfaction this year, according to the American Customer Satisfaction Index released by the University of Michigan's national quality research center, as domestic brands nearly equaled the Asian brands across the board. Great news, if the U.S. automakers can get anyone to believe it.

GM. On the one hand, GM should be applauded for killing the small Buick crossover slated for next year - which originally was to be a Saturn - after they just announced it last week, because it says that they're listening and being responsive, blah-blah-blah. On the other hand, there's no way in hell the vehicle should have ever seen the light of day, and it speaks volumes that GM's hoary tradition of rampant badge engineering is still alive and well. Not Good.

Editor’s Note - My first car was a '68 Camaro. Somehow I convinced my parents that I needed to drive my own car to high school instead of taking the bus (I can't remember my reasoning, and I can't believe they fell for it). I ended up selling it to my college boyfriend because I thought such a grand gesture would make him like me more (it didn't). Years later - when it was beat to shit - he sold it back to my parents for 50 bucks (I have no idea why this transaction took place). They didn't want to spend the money to fix it up, and so they sold it. BIG MISTAKE. Fast-forward to August 2009 and Dream Cruise weekend, when I had the opportunity to drive the 2010 Camaro. In Rally Yellow - think the brightest, most screaming shade of yellow you have ever seen. There, you got it. Now, anyone who knows me knows I don't do yellow - I basically only do black - sometimes dark grey, but only if it's a metallic.

Our tester came with the LT trim level (there are three - LS, LT and SS) - with a 3.6-liter direct injection V6 and 6-speed auto trans. Power was decent, at 304hp and 273 lb-ft of torque. Base MSRP on the LT is $24,630 - our car was equipped with the optional RS package (20-inch painted aluminum wheels, rear spoiler, RS unique tail lamps, etc.), which, combined with the cost of the auto trans and a few other items, brought the total price up to $30,115. (If I were to buy one, I'd definitely opt for the SS with its V8, which starts at $30,995, and boosts the performance numbers to 426hp and 420 lb-ft of torque - but that's because I have a lead foot and a soft spot for V8s.)

The new Camaro looks great. It captures the spirit of the original in a thoroughly modern design that doesn't wallow in nostalgia. GM designers could have really blown it with this car, but thankfully they didn't. There is absolutely no guessing about where this car gets its soul, and that’s as it should be. Peter adds, "They did a superb job doing a contemporary rendering of the car and it looks great on the street, which ultimately is what it's all about."

The interior is another matter. It’s not that it’s bad, exactly – it’s that it just doesn’t seem right, or special – or, more to the point – it just doesn’t say Camaro. It has all the features you’d expect, but it tries too hard, it’s too ‘trick’ – and in a bad way. There is basically a giant disconnect from the perfectly rendered exterior. Peter says: "I agree. The interior misses it for me too. I don't know what it is exactly but it does seem to try too hard overall, and I don't find it pleasing in the least. I find the lighting execution to be particularly bad. And the gauges in the console? They sucked back in '69, and they suck even more now. But, saying that, the Camaro is the one 'hit' GM has right now - outselling all of Buick and Cadillac in July - so I can forgive the interior and revel in the fact that they had the cojones to do the car in the first place, even though it took forever to get it to market."

The bottom line? I can see myself in the new Camaro (in black, of course). It’s the kind of car I love seeing in my driveway and walking up to, and – because I have a weakness for the original – indulging myself every now and then with memories. - WG

Publisher's Note: Our friend Casey Shane (aka "Art and Colour") is at it again with some late-summer "pixel-pushing" as he calls it, including a Prius Sport Coupe, his version of a Cadillac XTS with "Sixteen" overtones, a Jaguar XJ Coupe, a new Lincoln "Mark," a G8-based Chevrolet Caprice and a Panamera-based 928. Enjoy. - PMD

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, August 20, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

Subscribe via iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=311421319

Subscribe via RSS:

http://www.autolinedetroit.tv/podcasts/feeds/afterhours-audio.xml