STELLANTIS MAKES A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL.

Editor's Note: This week, Peter takes Stellantis to task over their shameless involvement at the White House last Sunday night. In On The Table, Porsche takes a whack at making the Taycan more desirable, a tall order, as Peter comments. We also check out the latest V8-powered monsters from Mercedes-Benz, and we take another look at the next-generation 2027 Chevrolet Silverado. Our video this week offers a compelling story about Mickey Thompson and his star-crossed pursuit of an Indy 500 win. Our AE Song of the Week is "Back On The Chain Gang" by the Pretenders. In Fumes, Peter brings us the next chapter in his new series, "The Racing Machines." And finally, in The Line we have results from INDYCAR at Road America, and MotoGP from the Czech GP (The Line will probably be late, as Peter is at Road America). Enjoy! -WG

By Peter M. DeLorenzo

Detroit. After performing corporate fellatio on the current occupant of the White House in order to curry favor by sponsoring that horrific national embarrassment that unfolded last Sunday night on the White House lawn, Stellantis has some explaining to do. Specifically, Olivier “I’m a marketing genius, just ask me” Francois has some ‘splaining to do, as to why in the fuck was Ram truck anywhere near that abomination that happened Sunday night?

 

AE readers are very familiar with Francois by now, as he is the Chief Marketing Officer who has a very obvious – and pathetic – habit of being totally enchanted with celebrities and the alleged “star power” that they bring to the table. He also marches unwaveringly to the dulcet tones of his own thought balloons, absolutely certain that no other thoughts could possibly even matter. It has marked his tenure as Stellantis CMO from the very beginning. Yes, he has managed to foster outstanding TV commercials on occasion (although that’s in the distant past), but his gut instincts – which he banks on – have steered him in places he has no business going. Like Dear Leader’s UFC-tinged birthday party last Sunday night.

 

I saw this coming months ago, as Stellantis operatives “took the gloves off” to resurrect the Dodge muscle positioning and, particularly, that missing Ram swagger. The pronouncements from out in Auburn Hills became more and more aggressive and calculated, as the new products were deliberately skewed to the muscle-head fans “out there” who just couldn’t face life without a Hemi underfoot.

 

(This is all happening, of course, as Stellantis continues fighting a losing battle when it comes to getting a handle on its recurring, systemic quality issues, which will take many years to fix, if ever.)

 

I watched as Ram truck commercials started to descend into a special kind of marketing Hell, marked by comically “patriotic” overtones that seemed to align with the bluster spewed by the current so-called Secretary of Defense (who is a walking, talking embarrassment in his own right). The tone of Dodge/Ram ads unmistakably started to mirror that of the stumblebum SoD’s press conferences, like a weird Twilight Zone media crossover of abject – and blatantly pathetic – mediocrity punctuated by Swinging Dickism energy.

 

And it was no surprise that this combination was on full display at that despicable event on Sunday night, with Ram Truck being the only automotive sponsor. While the current occupant of the White House pandered to his dwindling base, subjugating this country’s 250th Anniversary to his painfully awkward birthday celebration, Ram Truck pandered to its dwindling, muscle-head base too, permanently carving its place out at the bottom of the automotive image food chain.

 

As I’ve said many times before, this image-wrangling business is not for the faint of heart. It is a very fine line between creating meritorious, memorable advertising work and stinking up the landscape. Get it right and it’s all good; get it wrong and you could mire your brand in the doldrums of irrelevance for a long, long time. And it is crystal clear to me that Francois and his minions got it very, very wrong with their participation in the blood fest that took place on the White House lawn last Sunday night.

 

Francois has bet big on aligning Dodge and Ram with the prevailing winds in Washington, thinking that at least for right now it’s the best path to take. And he is banking it will pay huge dividends for the Stellantis muscle brands. But it’s a brand positioning that’s fraught with peril, not to mention that it will have a very short-term shelf life. Because when those winds shift – and they most definitely will – Francois will be left holding the bag. And then what? Will he swing the pendulum back so that Dodge and Ram can embrace a softer and gentler brand interpretation – a bunny rabbits and rainbow positioning perhaps?

 

As if.

 

I’m sure Dodge/Ram marketing operatives were high-fiving up and down the halls out in Auburn Hills after last Sunday night, led by Francois, his smugness fully pumped-up to 100 psi, I’m sure. After all, they have huge plans to make Ram the flagship of their entire North American operations by 2030. But by aligning Ram with the atrocity that unfolded last Sunday night – led by Francois and his bootlicking minions – they won't get there from here.

Stellantis has made a deal with the Devil himself, and I can assure you that this will not end well.

 

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

Editor's Note: Click on "Next 1 Entries" at the bottom of this page to see previous issues. - WG