ON THE TABLE

March 16, 2011

Carlos Ghosn, Renault. Abject stupidity and rampant paranoia never mix well, and the whole la affaire espionage Renault was such a black eye to Carlos Ghosn and Co. that it just might get him booted from the helm of the French automaker. It's a giant Shit Storm of Not Good if you ask us. Reminds us of those famous lyrics from Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth" - Paranoia strikes deep. Into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid. You step out of line, the man come and take you away...

Buick. Desperate to skew younger, the GM division has just signed a three-year marketing deal with the NCAA, so you'll be seeing lots of Buick ads during March Madness. Buick is basically filling the marketing space that Pontiac used to occupy with the NCAA before it was taken out back and shot. We wish Buick the best, after all, aligning with the NCAA means they have to deal with that smarmy, slimy, mercenary bunch of duplicitous scumbags on a weekly basis, which qualifies as being above and beyond the call as far as we're concerned. And oh by the way, all it does is remind us of just how bad we miss Pontiac too. Ugh.

The UAW. Fully engulfed in the sunset of its rapidly declining empire, the United Auto Workers union will hold its quadrennial bargaining convention in Detroit next week to formulate its strategy for negotiating a new contract with U.S. automakers. UAW President Bob King will lead the convention from March 22 to March 24 at the Cobo Center in Detroit. We'll save the assembled media a lot of trouble by telling you how this convention is going to go: King will open the show with a fire and brimstone speech about how they're going to get all of the concessions back from the Detroit Three, then he'll promise that the UAW will organize "multiple" import plants, then he and his crony patrol will go behind closed doors and identify Ford as the target. Then the horror show well and truly begins as the UAW, girded for battle, will do their level best to derail all of the hard-won gains that the U.S. auto industry has made in the last 24 months. Trust us, it will be a Solidarity House-sized bowl of Not Good.

 The House Energy and Commerce Committee. It voted 34-19 to approve a bill that would remove the power to limit tailpipe emissions and other greenhouse gases from the EPA and the state of California. It would also would keep the EPA from taking part in setting future standards and bar California from limiting tailpipe emissions. The bill would give NHTSA the only authority to set Corporate Average Fuel Economy rules. The bill goes to the full House for a vote in the coming weeks where it has more than a shot. The Democrat-controlled Senate is another story. The bill is vehemently opposed by the Obama administration.

Editor-in-Chief's Note: Our "Quick Take" this week covers the 2011 Lincoln MKX FWD. Our tester was well turned out in its Bordeaux Red Reserve/Black livery, and getting reacquainted with the Ford crossover was a pleasant experience for the most part (although you can have the adaptive cruise/collision warning system, as I find these systems to be annoying and geared for the lowest common denominator driver who operates unconsciously behind the wheel. In that respect, they're useful, because you'd want those kinds of drivers' vehicles to be equipped with the option, but if you pay attention at all while driving you don't need it). The big tech news for Ford in 2011, of course, is the Ford MyTouch driver-connect technology, or in this case the Lincoln MyTouch system. I found it to be easy to understand and use, though I confess I don't use anywhere near the capacity of these systems in my normal driving day. But any hand-wringing going on about these systems being difficult to understand seems to me to be much ado about nothing. It ain't that hard, folks. I like the Lincoln MKX just as much as the Ford Edge, although there are some Lincoln niceties that distinguish the MKX from the Edge that may sway some to the Lincoln. Generally, these Ford crossovers are screwed together well and they perform admirably in all driving conditions. As for the design of the MKX, I do like the "freshening" of the 2011 model with its distinctive Lincoln face. It works for me. - PMD

2011 Lincoln MKX FWD: $47,070, ($39,145 Base Price; 3.7L Ti-VCT V6, 6-speed Selectshift automatic transmission; Rapid Spec 101A - Premium Package, Ambient Lighting, Rear View camera, 18" Polished Aluminum Wheels, Adaptive HID Headlamps - $2500; Voice Activated Navigation System, $1,790; THX II Certified Audio System, $995; Adapt Cruise/Collision Warning, $1,295; Wood Package, $495; Destination & Delivery, $850).

Editor-in-Chief's Note: We're always glad to share Casey Shain's talent with our readers. This week, Casey ("artandcolour") delves into the topic of the Lost Art of the Coupe, as in we need more of 'em. Take a look at Casey's re-imagination of the VW Jetta, Audi A8, Saab 9-5, Buick Verano and Chevrolet Cruze as new wave Coupes and check out his commentary that goes along with them. Great stuff from Casey, as always. You can also check out Casey's blog just for his digital illustrations here. Enjoy! - PMD
 

Buick Verano GS 3-door. We really need more choices than 4-door sedans! Perhaps a hatchback wouldn't be the obvious choice, but the sleekness would really offset the other sedans in Buick's showrooms. The chrome "eyebrows" over the taillights have grown into full-fledged chrome side moldings in the classic tradition. Wouldn't you really rather have a Buick?

Saab 9-5 coupe. Halo car for the new company. Could have been a Saab-Spyker until they sold off the sports cars a couple of weeks ago. The chopped top really sets this coupe off—shades of its old competitor, the original '70s Volvo Bertone coupe. Could introduce a Hybrid to their lineup as well.

Audi A8 coupe. Really, as great as Audi is doing these days, they really could use a 2-door competitor for the CL Class, and I don't mean the A7 hatchback. This pillar-less Audi would feature a V8, Hybrid and W12 versions.

VW Jetta coupe. I shortened the rear overhang and made the roof more of a fastback for this now-hatchback. Though still seating 4, it just might take up the slack from the dearly-departed (From the USA) Scirocco/Corrado without the expense of an additional platform. Would have to step up the interior and the rear suspension from the base sedan. I'm thinking four black-and-white leather buckets and aluminum trim might work.

Chevrolet Cruze 3-door. Based on the new 5-door hatch concept, does away with Chevy's now-ubiquitous over/under twin grilles for a lower, cleaner look. Passenger door would be 4 inches longer (AMC Pacer-like!) than the driver's, to help compete with the Veloster's twin passenger doors. The Z11 name is a take-off on the old Citation X11 and their current fascination with Zs.