ON THE TABLE - MAY 28, 2014

  Union of Concerned Scientists. Editor-in-Chief's Note: This group has decided that Hyundai is the new greenest automaker in their latest report, wrestling the crown away from Honda. Why anyone cares what this group thinks, says, does or anything else for that matter is beyond me, but they definitely have a savvy PR machine with the ability to get the attention of lazy journalists - automotive and otherwise - on a slow news day and turn it into "news." And the Detroit-based automakers? They ranked dead last in their report, which isn't a surprise in the least. Why? The Detroit-based automakers make trucks for people who actually do the real work in this country, so that groups like the "Union of Concerned Scientists" can sit around navel-gazing while basking in the dulcet tones of their own voices, and then turn around and present their narrow, hackneyed opinions as dogma. What a bunch of unmitigated bullshit. - PMD

Dan Akerson. Editor-in-Chief's Note: "Captain Queeg" mounts the Sergeant Schultz defense in Forbes by saying he knew nothing, Mary Barra knew nothing, in fact nobody knew nothing about the ignition interlock issues at GM. Whatever you say, Cap'n! - PMD

(BMW Group Photos)
This is what BMW PR minions have to say: "The BMW Group celebrates the meeting of the time-honored and the contemporary at the Concorso d’Eleganza Villa d’Este 2014 with a very special concept: the MINI Superleggera™ Vision. This exclusive interpretation of an open-top two-seater was created by MINI and Touring Superleggera, the tradition-steeped design and coach building house based in Milan. The MINI Superleggera™ Vision is on the one hand a classic roadster, a compact and agile two-seater, expressing the most minimalist and emotional style of motoring; and on the other hand its electric drivetrain gives the car distinctly modern driving dynamics. In collaboration with MINI, Touring Superleggera™ has designed and built an elaborately crafted, unique model which blends the tradition of classic coachwork construction with the MINI’s authentic British styling to create timeless aesthetic appeal." This is what AE says: The Touring Superleggera has absolutely nothing to do with MINI in the least. Not even a little bit. But the BMW Group needed a concept for Villa d'Este, and seeing as they're already completely out of ideas and making up the MINI product plan as they go along, they thought attaching the MINI name to the project would make about as much sense as anything else, so... 

Editor-in-Chief's's Note: Our "Quick Take" this week has us in a 2014 BMW 640i xDrive Gran Coupe. Sharply dressed in its shimmering Titanium Silver metallic paint and tastefully-presented Cinnamon Brown Dakota leather, this big four-door "coupe" - BMW's answer to the Mercedes-Benz CLS and Porsche Panamera - exuded its luxury GT persona through and through. The design of the Gran Coupe does make it stand out. When I first saw it in pictures, I wondered out loud what the big deal was, it seemed to me to be yet another "me too" four-door "coupe" from a German manufacturer filling out the niche segment. But, this BMW is tautly drawn and crisply rendered, and it has tremendous on-the-road presence. It's a seamless drive, too, with its 3.0-liter TwinPower Turbo inline six, a wonderful power package that performs flawlessly in this application. As for its driving feel, the Gran Coupe is light on its feet and surprisingly agile, composed and confident in every way. As for the back seat, it looks usable for the occasions you might need it, but I didn't try it out. The Gran Coupe represents another dimension to BMW's multiple segment personality - the luxury-performance GT tourer - and it fulfills that role well. Is it as fun to drive or in the same league as the Porsche Panamera? No, but if you're predisposed to BMWs, it's pretty damn good. - PMD

2014 BMW 640i xDrive Gran Coupe: $89,675 ($80,100 Base Price; Titanium Silver Metallic; Cinnamon Brown Dakota Leather; 3.0-liter, 24-valve inline 6-cylinder engine, BMW Twin-Power Turbo technology, High Precision Direct Injection, Valvetronic and Double-VANOS variable valve control with 315HP and 330 lbs-ft of torque; xDrive all-wheel-drive system; 8-speed sport automatic transmission with automatic Sport and Manual shift modes and steering wheel-mounted paddle shifters; Auto Start-Stop function; Driving Dynamics Control with ECO PRO mode; 4-wheel ventilated and anti-lock disc brakes (ABS) with Dynamic Brake Control (DBC); Dynamic Stability Control (DSC) including Brake Fade Compensation, Start-off Assistant, Brake Drying and Brake Stand-by features with Dynamic Traction Control (DTC), Xenon Adaptive Headlights with dynamic auto-leveling, Corona headlight-rings and Cornering Lights; LED fog lights; Power front seats with lumbar support, heat and driver's seat memory; Comfort Access keyless entry; Tilting glass panel roof with power-sliding roof liner; Park Distance Control, front and rear; AM/FM/CD/MP3 player audio system with HD radio; iDrive system with on-board computer and controller; Rear-view camera; Navigation system with voice command and advanced Real Time Traffic Information; Cold Weather Package - Heated Steering Wheel, heated rear seats - $450; M Sport Package - 19" Double-spoke alloy wheels, LED fog lights, M steering wheel, Aerodynamic kit, Shadowline exterior trim - $4,400; Adaptive Drive with ARS, $2500; Multi-contour seats, Destination charge, $925)

Adherence to Brand Image: As I said up top, the Gran Coupe is part of the kaleidoscope that is BMW's brand portfolio at this juncture. The Germans - particularly BMW and Mercedes - are hell bent on the notion that growth, meaning filling as many models and segments - both real and imagined - that they can possibly come up with, will propel them to greatness and a sustainable future. And as I've said many times before, I'm not so sure about that. It's ironic that the German luxury-performance manufacturers are embracing Alfred Sloan's original strategy to conquer the world - "a car for every purse and purpose" - but I don't think having a BMW or a Mercedes in every garage in America is a legitimate goal at all, but rather a recipe for disaster when it comes to brand image. Because at some point familiarity breeds contempt, and over time "special" inevitably ceases to be, well, special. - PMD

(BMW)
BMW Motorrad takes a look at the future generation of boxer-powered motorcycles with its BMW Concept Roadster, which will be unveiled at the Concorso d’Eleganza Villa d’Este 2014. Powered by a 2-cylinder boxer engine, with single-sided swing arm with cardan drive and a light tubular space frame, the Concept Roadster interprets classic elements in the most state-of-the-art, dynamic form, according to BMW. "The BMW Concept Roadster is exciting to look and at least as exciting to ride," says Ola Stenegard, Head of Vehicle Design BMW Motorrad. "...The contemporary emotional appeal of the BMW Concept Roadster shows that, as far as BMW is concerned, motorcycling is much more than just perfect function," explains Edgar Heinrich, Head of BMW Motorrad Design.