September 1, 2010

By the people, for the people…oh, never mind.  

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 8/31, 8:00PM) Detroit. As we stumble into the final weeks of the summer around here, the hot and steamy weather has begun to resemble the economy, as in slow-to-stagnating. To make matters worse, people in this business clinging to a glimmer of hope that the good times are just around the next bend are now having to deal with the fact that this so-called auto industry “recovery” is going to be excruciatingly painful and drawn out, with nothing resembling instant gratification on the horizon, or even close for that matter.

But it isn’t just the weather or the economy causing the lingering late-summer headaches right now for this business, it’s the stark realization that the U.S. government is hell-bent on becoming a direct, hands-on player in this industry – well beyond the existing bailout/overseer role it already occupies – and it’s a role no one in this business wants to see expanded. And it shouldn’t sit well with consumers out there in the real world either.

Let me start by asking a couple of key questions: Are there people out there who actually believe in their hearts that they know what’s best for the rest of us? Or do they just get off on telling us not only what to do, but how it’s going to be when we’re doing what we’re told, too?

How does all of the above sound?

The latest sign that The End is near as far as the automobile - or at least the freedom associated with the automobile - is concerned? The government wants to change the now ubiquitous EPA mileage stickers on our cars and trucks so that they’ll be even more nanny/nag-like, assigning an actual “letter” grade to our cars and trucks that will rate fuel economy and emissions performance.

In other words, if your vehicle isn’t a Shiny Happy Prius or one of the zippy new electrically-enhanced modes of transportation, your vehicle will be assigned an average-to-poor grade. In other words, our government regulators plan on shaming us into buying a better grade of transportation – at least in their minds anyway – then we’d normally opt for.

Because we are, after all, too stupid to figure it out for ourselves.

This, in case anyone wants to delve into it any deeper, makes perfect sense in the minds of regulators in Washington. After all, as Gina McCarthy, the EPA’s assistant administrator for air and radiation – nice title, by the way – told the Wall Street Journal, the rules are designed to reflect major advances in car technology, “We think a new label is absolutely needed to help consumers make the right decision for their wallets and the environment.”

Really?

I see it a little bit differently. I see it as an example of the classic - albeit tragically typical – bureaucratic regulator mindset that seems to thrive in places like Washington and in The Free Republic of Sacramento. The same mindset brought to bear on our behalf each and every day, unfortunately, that automatically frets about the fact that we - the general citizenry “out there” in the hinterlands - are barely capable of negotiating our typical day without the guidance and suckle of the all-knowing and all-seeing regulators who are charged - at least in their minds - with saving us from ourselves.

And that if it wasn’t for these aforementioned regulators and well-meaning benevolent bureaucrats we’d all be wandering around in a daze, careening though life unfettered, unruly and incoherent, generally causing societal chaos by our abject refusal to follow the rules. Or to be even blunter, generally screwing things up because we don’t acquiesce to the whims and wishes of the bureaucratic regulators who after all, know what’s best for us.

The undertone in all of this nonsense is that this ugly bureaucratic mindset operates under the assumption that collectively we - meaning you and me - don’t have the faintest of clues about anything to do with our cars and trucks, and that given our feeble state we can’t possibly understand even the most rudimentary issues when it comes to the environment, or anything to do with our transportation choices.

But even worse than all of this? Now the table is being set to have these same regulators, with that same we know what’s best for you bureaucratic mentality in full flower, veering from giving us emissions/economy ratings on our vehicles - that presumably we can all understand now that they’ve been distilled down to elementary school levels of comprehension – to actually ladling out opinions on which vehicles are worthy of our consideration.

Just off the top of my head, this is a Cowboys Stadium-sized bowl of Not Good.

Next thing you know, they'll be requiring the manufacturers to actually add the grade as a decal on the vehicle somewhere, which will be followed by decal grades on our garage doors - like scarlet letters for all the world to see.

Between now and then, however, I predict yet another giant disconnect between the bureaucratic regulators and the rest of the American driving public, as the Shiny Happy “A”-graded vehicles are left collecting dust in showrooms all across the country as the “C,” “D” and “F” vehicles fly off of the lots.

As the Wicked Witch of the West once famously said, “Oh what a world! What a world!”

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

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The Ultimate Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 8/24, 4:30PM) Detroit. The news came streaking across the Internet like an anvil launched off a cliff, Volkswagen AG is planning on bringing back the Phaeton to the U.S. market. You remember the $80,000+ Phaeton, don’t you ($70,000 for the V8, $100,000 for the W12)? Yet another one of Ferdinand’s Follies (aka Ferdinand Piech, the uber chairman/megalomaniac of the VW Group), the weirdly-named Phaeton was going to be Piech’s ultimate power grab of the luxury auto market when it arrived in 2003. Designed to humble established German luxury players like Mercedes-Benz and BMW overnight, the Phaeton – at least in concept – would crush its competition with a combination of high-level execution, attention to detail and technical superiority, all wrapped in a package that would be just too seductive to ignore. At least that was The Plan.

But, of course, Piech - his infinite ego brimming with the possibilities of it all - didn’t stop there. He built a magical “Transparent Factory” for the Phaeton in Dresden, Germany – as much homage to his self-absorbed brilliance and vision as it was a modern take on a “clean” factory – and it was from there that the Phaeton would rise up and slay the mighty luxury dragons from his German rivals.

Oh, if it were that easy.

The Phaeton flopped and was gone from this market by 2006. It seems that the American consumer public just wasn’t ready for a VW super-luxury sedan that approached six figures in cost, no matter how much of its architecture and underpinnings were shared with the Bentley Continental. Who knew?

The whole exercise only served to expose the perennial flawed logic emanating from the Emperor’s Suite at VW in Germany when it comes to this market. Piech and his empowered minions can’t for the life of them figure out why American consumers can’t be led by the nose to drink whatever flavor of automotive Kool-Aid VW is selling, no matter how out of sync it is with what the brand represents here.

The reoccurring problem for Piech over the years is that when the only one brilliant enough to be in the same room with him is himself, then rational decision making usually gets lost in the shuffle and the various realities at hand are swept under the rug by subordinates focused on not losing their jobs.

The only man on the planet convinced that VW can carry off a super-luxury moniker with aplomb is Piech, and of course, his appointed sycophants of the week. (I say “of the week” because if you disagree with Piech in private, you’re toast. And if you do it in public you’re fired. So that pretty much leaves a passel of “yes people” at his beck and call pre-programmed to nod their approval, but I digress.) Everyone else in the industry can buy VW being a premium brand to a degree certainly, but a super-luxury player? No.

But that has never stopped Piech and his legions of minions. They’re the only ones who failed to see the flaw in the logic of constantly pushing VW up against Audi in this market and around the world. After spending billions upon billions of dollars trying to elevate the Audi brand and solidifying its reputation around the world, why would you possibly want to throw a grenade in the mix by pushing a super-luxury VW that plays in exactly the same marketing space as top rung Audi models? Why, indeed.

But then again, don’t underestimate the considerable hubris that Piech brings to bear on anything to do with VW or “his” VW Group every day. His Empire is vast and his reach is long, and if he feels like tinkering with a super-luxury VW to his heart’s content just to prove a point that he can – even if it is to the detriment of Audi – then he will tinker away, rational, more balanced perspectives need not apply and flat-out common sense be damned. It’s Piech’s world and we’re all lucky to be guests in it after all.

So here we are. VW is planning to sell 800,000 vehicles – or more – in this market by 2018, in effect tripling its current sales numbers in a little over seven years. Yes, that may happen, but then again that would mean a massive American consumer “buy in” to the VW brand on an unprecedented scale. That’s a lot of Jettas and it’s a lot of the “Camry killer” sedans that they’re planning on building in Tennessee too. And I just don’t see it happening.

Market strategizing in a vacuum has never served anybody in this business well, but VW is truly gifted at it. Sure, they could actually sell 800,000 units here by 2018, at least it probably sounds good in a conference room in Wolfsburg somewhere. But it’s also based on the supposition that the Hyundai-KIA group, a resurgent Ford, a refocused Toyota and a growing-feistier-by-the-minute GM (at least product-wise) are just going to sit on their hands and not do a damn thing to stop VW from doing it. And I can safely say that’s notgonnahappen.com.

And so into this volatile mix struts the Ultimate Answer to the Question that Absolutely No One is Asking - the next-generation Phaeton - the car that’s going to lead VW’s charge to greatness and dramatic new sales volumes in this market. Uh, how about no?

The Phaeton was dead in the water upon introduction before, and it will be again, because nothing has fundamentally changed for VW in this country. It’s still a maker of premium, fun-to-drive German vehicles notched below the lesser models of Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz, and there’s no amount of Piech tinkering of the Phaeton formula that’s going to change that.

It does make me wonder if anyone is really paying attention over at VW headquarters in Germany, or are they just waiting for the next whim/thought balloon to waft its way over from Piech’s office?

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

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Akerson’s “to do” list revolves around two key points, plus one.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 8/16, 10:30AM) Detroit. In the hand-wringing frenzy of media coverage surrounding “Big Ed” Whitacre stepping away from the GM Corp. CEO job in favor of 61-year-old Daniel Akerson last week, there were many in the media expressing “surprise” about the move, at least those in the media who hadn’t been paying attention, that is. But it shouldn’t have been a surprise at all because Big Ed made no bones about the fact that he wasn’t going to be around forever (and his home was in Texas and he wasn’t moving here, thank you very much) - and since the entire raison d’etre for GM now is to get out from under the “Government Motors” tag - the company’s focus is clearly on appeasing Wall Street and making sure the IPO that’s imminent goes off successfully and without a hitch. And Big Ed’s “interim” leanings weren’t a positive part of the plan.

Wall Street not only doesn’t like surprises, they want to know that a company’s management team that’s in place on the eve of an IPO is going to be the management team that will be there to see it through. All the way through. And that’s why the change was made. Akerson gets the CEO title on September 1 and the Chairman title when Big Ed steps completely away at the end of the year.

GM absolutely needs this IPO to go well because the entire future of the company rests on it. Until GM can get out from under the tainted “Government Motors” moniker there’s no amount of smart marketing - they have several crucial launches coming up, Chevy Volt and Cruze to name just two - from Joel Ewanick’s troops that will be able to overcome that ball and chain. That’s how crucial all of this is.

The moment the “Government Motors” tag is buried GM has a shot. Until then its future is cloudy, at best, no matter how good their hot new products are.

Much has been made of Akerson’s ball-busting tendencies, his use of “colorful” language and that his take no prisoners style is exactly what GM needs right now, blah-blah-blah, but to put a finer point on things, Akerson’s day-to-day managing will revolve around two things: Speed and Accountability.

Speed in that GM has finally – finally – begun to leave its sedentary ways to the dusty old history books and is acting like a car company that gets it, one that realizes that months of meetings and territorial posturing is not a way to bring a vehicle to market in this right now global automotive economy we live in today. And that agile decision making and the ability to marshal the company’s resources are what will allow GM to compete both here in this market and around the world. Akerson has to emphasize this speeded-up decision making and product action every day. If GM’s newfound tempo slides just a little or they ease up on the gas in the least it’s not going to go well for them. And from all accounts Akerson understands this and lives by it. I certainly hope so anyway.

As for accountability the fact that I’m even mentioning it means that I am not firmly convinced that GM is out of the woods just yet. Far from it, in fact. Oh, the right people are engaged in all the right management positions now but that doesn’t mean the entire organization gets it. Akerson would do himself – and the “new” GM – a huge favor by rooting out the last vestiges of the complacency and lack of accountability that have plagued GM’s vast “bureaucratic middle” for over 40 years now, because it’s exactly this cancerous, odorous quagmire of “not invented here” myopia combined with a stunning lack of decision-making responsibility that contributed mightily to this once-great company’s downfall into bankruptcy.

And Akerson must be absolutely ruthless in eliminating it if GM is going to thrive after the IPO.

And the plus one?

Akerson needs to make sure that Mark Reuss and Ed Welburn and their respective product teams have all of the tools and resources necessary for them to do their jobs. And then he needs to step away and stay out of the way so that they can execute the various product plans commensurate with their considerable capabilities. The fact that Akerson isn’t a “product guy” ultimately won’t matter, as long as he keeps out of the way of the people who are.

If Akerson can do all of that - without allowing his considerable ego to get in the way - this company has a shot to be great again.

If not, well, let’s just say that Akerson and the rest of GM will be hearing from me about it.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

Subscribe via iTunes:

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Sergio’s “chaos theory” coming to a Chrysler showroom near you.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 8/10, 8:00PM) Detroit. I continue to be amazed at some of the genuflecting minions in the media who are still buying into Sergio Marchionne’s “vision” for the new Chrysler, er, Fiat-Chrysler, er, let’s just call it for what it is: Fiat North America circa 2013. These lesser computer-keyboard-stained wretches among us – who seem to have suspended all rational thought for the temporary comfort provided by Marchionne’s soothing “wisdom” – are falling all over themselves trying to pretend that the new Fiat-Chrysler product plan is not only pure whimsy - or abject lunacy, take your pick - but a burgeoning showroom train wreck of immense proportions.

Let’s review, shall we? Marchionne’s plan calls for at least 23 new models in Chrysler showrooms by 2013. (In case you’re wondering, Chrysler’s walking-wounded dealer body has 17 to contend with right now and for comparison’s sake, Ford has 21 models currently, sans Mercury.)

And just what, pray tell, are Chrysler’s dealers going to do with all of these vaunted new products? Let’s not forget that the great shrunken car company formerly known as Chrysler has stripped out its dealer body to the point that it’s damn near approaching skeleton crew status. And, not to state the obvious – although some out there in media land are choosing to ignore it - Chrysler’s latest financial numbers are skewed heavily toward fleet sales, while the retail side of its business continues to struggle.

According to Sergio, however, the new Jeep Grand Cherokee will fix any infirmities on the retail side of the equation and set the table for sure-fire future product success overnight. Make no mistake, the new big Jeep is a fine piece of work – as I’ve stated previously – but there’s no fixing what ails Chrysler overnight, I don’t care how great one single product is.

No, Sergio is setting up his dealers for failure, as sure as I’m writing this and here’s why. Sergio’s “chaos theory” of automotive marketing suggests that his marketing corps will be able to differentiate the four brands – Chrysler, Dodge, Ram Truck and Jeep – in the remaining Chrysler showrooms with a flip of a switch, creating a distinctive, unimpeachable persona for each.

This sounds all well and good but given the overall quality of the remaining Chrysler dealers – and hold your emails because yes, there are plenty of good ones left, just not nearly as many as Chrysler would have you believe - and the propensity for the general public to avoid Chrysler showrooms at all costs, how is this all going to work, exactly?

And to actually get up there and suggest to the media – and I mean you, Sergio – that all of this working out is just a mere formality and that once it gets rolling it will all come good overnight is bordering on sheer lunacy.

A depleted, semi-demoralized dealer body unused to having visitors in its showrooms - let alone buyers - is all of a sudden going to be able to not only understand the myriad brands and models that are suddenly overrunning its showrooms, but is going to be able to explain the differences and nuances between them to its customers, even though these new products - particularly the compact and midsize offerings - are going to be stepping all over each other on the showroom floor in terms of size and price?

Uh, Not. So. Much.

Some Chrysler dealers have already gone on record as saying the more products the merrier - that the long national nightmare brought on by the bankruptcy is over and happy times are just around the corner again - but the smarter ones know better and are understandably leery of what’s to come. The more rational among the Chrysler dealers are fearful of a looming mini-train wreck in their showrooms, with too many models crashing into each other with a redundant thud, and with little rhyme or reason given to any of it.

And there’s no amount of marketing money that will solve any of it either, certainly not within the time frame Sergio’s banking on.

And what about that whole marketing thing? Let’s not forget one other very important point that Marchionne has conveniently managed to gloss over in the midst of telling us all how great it’s going to be, and that is the fact that achieving a targeted, cohesive awareness of your product out there in the big, bad, real world of competing messaging that exists today – automotive and otherwise – is extremely difficult and consumes billions of dollars. Not millions, but billions.

It’s one thing to play fast and loose with the financials, because apparently you can spin just about anything these days and someone out there will buy it. Just look at the latest round of Chrysler financial numbers that everyone went gaga over - even though the retail sales component was woefully lacking – and you can see what I mean. I guess if Sergio says it’s okay to not put too much emphasis on the retail component and focus instead on the Big Picture, then it’s okay. Or, maybe not.

But when it comes to marketing – and shoving the equivalent of 50 lbs. of new product into the equivalent of a 25-lb. bag – and trying to sort it all out on the fly, with a weakened dealer body and a consumer public that will need more than a few good reasons to show up on your dealers’ doorsteps, it gets more than a little complicated.

And it takes time, too. Not Sergio “finger-snap” time, but a plodding, grind it out, move the ball forward kind of slog that takes years to come to fruition. Not months, but years. And there are no shortcuts, at least none that will achieve the kind of consistent, sustainable let alone instantaneous results that Marchionne so desperately needs.

And yet here’s Marchionne insisting that with his brilliant guidance – as translated through his marketing acolytes - four distinct brand personas will emerge unscathed from the wreckage of past Chrysler train wrecks, an infusion of new models will be integrated seamlessly into the American consumer consciousness with nary a hiccup or even a whiff of confusion, and the depleted Chrysler dealers will sort it all out and be wildly successful.

All by 2013.

I’m all for some glass half-full optimism now and then, but this is flat-out ridiculous.

Memo to the wildly optimistic Chrysler dealers out there: I say good luck, but don’t be surprised if the Marchionne “vision” leaves a lot to be desired in three years' time. And maybe it’s best that you learn to live with disappointment now, so the shock won’t be as bad.

And to the smart, more skeptical Chrysler dealers out there who are making a cottage industry out of hedging their bets, I say be smarter and even more skeptical, and you won’t be disappointed in the least.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

Subscribe via iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=311421319

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High-voltage Hysteria.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 8/4, 8:00AM) Detroit. You know that when such automotive “experts” as Rush Limbaugh start weighing-in on the Chevrolet Volt – complete with his misinformed and wildly off-base knee-jerk-isms in full bloom - the electric car hysteria in this country has reached critical mass. That Limbaugh has no idea as to what the Volt represents or the first clue as to how it operates is not a surprise, but it’s clear that he’s not alone, and that GM marketers have their work cut out for them.

It’s important to remember that both sides of the political spectrum have clearcut agendas when talking about the Volt. On the conservative Right, it’s the anti-bailout, anti-“subsidized” GM (and Detroit), and anti-anything Obama fervor that encapsulates the frenzy. To this faction the Volt is nothing short of e-v-i-l and represents everything wrong and bad about the current administration and the direction of the country itself.

While on the Left, we have that mind-numbing, “we know what’s best for you and you will like it” smugness that envisions the sheer joy that will result after American consumers are forced to embrace mass electrification overnight, even though for more than 85 percent of the country it makes zero sense. And yet this group will be delirious over the fact that after an entire nation is brought literally to its knees by woefully misguided policies based upon theoretical, “best case” scenarios rather than functional, real-world realities, a Shiny Happy Green Nirvana will result overnight and it will be Good.

Given the “noise” generated by both of these factions, it will be a miracle if the American consumer public can ferret through the cacophony and discover what the Volt is – and what it could mean and how it could perform – for their day-to-day driving regimen.

Clearly the whole “range anxiety” factor will loom large in the consideration process. That most consumers view the Volt as just another one of those electric golf carts that are all the buzz of late shouldn’t be a surprise. GM has pounded out the fact that the Volt goes 40 miles without a charge and to most consumers that doesn’t sound like much, even though if they actually analyzed their daily driving they’d discover that in an urban setting that figure would suit them just fine.

But while hammering the “40 miles per charge” figure into consumers’ heads, GM has failed to make a big enough deal about the fact that that the Volt is an extended range electric vehicle, and that the onboard engine will allow you to maintain enough of a battery charge to go a very long way.

It’s easy to see why marketing the Volt will be such a monumental challenge. First of all, the political hand grenades lobbed in from the sides and the relentless posturing will never go away, and GM marketers would be best served by steering far clear of that noise. If they think they can “spin” the spin-meisters they’re sadly mistaken, so instead they better go after the consumer intenders intrigued by the concept, the people who will have the power to make or break the Volt, because without the warm embrace of these early adopter/zealots the Volt will never get out of the gate.

And secondly, GM has to avoid – as much as possible – the whole “electrification of our driving future” angle, because in reality the electrification of the American automobile – the concept that has the left-leaning pundits in such a frothing frenzy – remains a distant pipe dream and one conducive to urban areas only. And this will be true for a long, long time to come, as much as the “finger-snap” experts out there suggest otherwise.

No, the Chevrolet Volt – at least for the time being – will be the ultimate niche vehicle of this young century. It will have limited appeal to a limited number of consumers in limited parts of the country, and it will all work out just fine if GM marketers remember that, even though the natural tendency will be to shout from the rooftops that the Volt is nothing short of the reinvention of the automobile..

And just for the record, for some consumers the Volt will be the greatest thing since sliced bread, and that’s fine, man, as The Dude would say, but it doesn’t mean that feeling will automatically translate beyond the first-on-the-block frenzy.

The bottom line?

Somewhere in this kaleidoscope of hysteria GM has to figure out how to market an extended-range electric vehicle called the Chevrolet Volt. And somehow – as GM marketing chief Joel Ewanick has rightly suggested – GM has to convince a skeptical American consumer public that it’s a real car, and not a marketing gimmick or a toy.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

Subscribe via iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=311421319

Subscribe via RSS:

http://www.autolinedetroit.tv/podcasts/feeds/afterhours-audio.xml



Ford rises above the “Three Letters of Doom” with the 2011 Explorer.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 7/26, 11:00AM) Detroit. As Ford takes the wraps off the new 2011 Explorer today – with a stellar, multi-city “throwback” reveal combined with a social media offensive – it’s easy to see why they’re excited about it. The new Explorer is lighter, much better looking, safer, quieter, exhaustively equipped, technically sophisticated, dramatically more efficient and with light-years better driving dynamics thrown-in for good measure. In short, there is nothing about the 2011 version of the Explorer that bears any resemblance to the vehicle that came before it. The only thing the new vehicle shares with the old one is the name, which has an incredible 96 percent recognition factor among American consumers, according to Ford.

But saying all of that, it’s a vehicle that almost didn’t see the light of day.

I’ll let you ferret out all of the myriad product details elsewhere but suffice to say, the real story of the 2011 Explorer is the internal wrangling that went on behind the scenes within Ford, and how this excellent new product almost didn’t happen at all.

For most people outside of this business it’s hard to contemplate the lead times involved in producing cars and trucks. For instance the go or no-go decision on the Explorer was still being bandied about internally at Ford more than three years ago. Remember this was the Dark Before the Light at the company, when Alan Mulally was just starting to work his “Plan” and the bureaucratic minions were just finding out what “One Ford” really meant.

(That’s why the “finger-snap” auto experts out there new to this business – everyone from the horde of instant auto pundits on the Internet to the wildly misguided and hysterical Green coalition and, of course, the stunningly uninformed politicos in Washington and California – have trouble understanding how difficult it is to respond to “blue sky” pronouncements or even worse, knee-jerk auto regulations. But I digress.)

In those dark days, when two of the Detroit Three were heading toward oblivion, and Ford was certain to follow, it was not unexpected that some within Ford would be vehemently against the idea of doing a new Explorer. After all, the letters S-U-V had become the bane of Detroit’s existence. Consumers were beginning to abandon the segment in droves as the political rhetoric generated by the virulent anti-car, anti-Detroit “intelligentsia” (and I use that term derisively as if you had to guess) in Washington and California and in the media (only thinly-disguised at that point and led, of course, by their Patron Saint, Thomas Friedman of the New York Times) was reaching a cacophonous crescendo.

By then, Detroit was not only responsible for the decline of Western civilization, but Global Warming, the looming economic collapse and everything evil going in the U.S. at that very moment in time. Friedman went on record that Toyota should become America’s car company because Detroit was criminally negligent, equating the Detroit automakers with terrorists. Any possibility for a rational assessment of the state of the domestic auto industry based on the global economic transformation, the accrued legacy and labor costs that had left the U.S. automakers woefully uncompetitive, the blatant unfair trade practices ongoing on behalf of certain Asian automakers – and with the full cooperation of their governments, by the way – gave way to shrill histrionics and a witch hunt mentality unfettered by rhyme, reason or anything to do with the facts, for that matter.

So it would be easy to see why that within the halls of Ford back then there was much consternation and hand-wringing going on about the all-new Explorer slated for the 2011 model year. I can tell you that the internal discussion went like this:

Why were we doing it when the pitchforks were being raised against anything with the Three Letters of Doom – SUV – attached? How could Ford in all good consciousness – spend all of the time, research and development, and engineering costs necessary for such a program?

But on the other side of the equation there were compelling arguments as well:

How could the company walk away from one of the most recognizable names in the business, despite the fact that it’s an SUV? Why couldn’t we make it better, more efficient, more sophisticated and more responsive to the times in every way? Why can’t we put everything we know into a new vehicle that will knock the socks off the industry again?

Fortunately for Ford the cooler heads prevailed, the ones that realized that the scurrilous campaign against Detroit and everything it stood for was misguided, inaccurate and most important not reflective of the rest of the country. Much to the Detroit “haters” chagrin, real people needed and still need all kinds of different vehicles for a wildly diverse set of needs.

Real working people needed pickup trucks - which puzzled the politicos on both coasts to no end - after all, why couldn’t they rig a Prius with its hatch opened up to do the job? And families and extended families actually like to pile in a vehicle together and go somewhere to explore and experience all that this country has to offer. Even if it was just to visit grandma.

Not everyone was willing to shoulder the logistics and costs of air travel or search high and low for a train station, again, much to the chagrin of our representatives in California and Washington, who, after all, believed that with just a “finger-snap” America could be just like Europe – complete with a vast network of mass transportation and $8.00 per gallon gasoline – if we all just kumbaya’d around the camp fire for a while and wished it to be true.

So when you look at the new Explorer, look beyond the inherent goodness of - by all indications - an exceptional product and take a moment to realize what the vehicle means to Ford and the rest of the country.

The 2011 Explorer is the embodiment of the Ford Motor Company’s new-found conviction and belief in their mission. Led by Alan Mulally - the savviest CEO to hit the automobile business in decades - the Explorer represents a rejuvenated car company bristling with talent and expertise, one willing to take all of the risks necessary for the sake of delivering great product, which is, after all, the very lifeblood of this business, and the reason Ford’s upward trajectory knows no end.

For the rest of the country it means that as long as there are car companies out there willing to be responsive to the consumer – and to the customer’s needs and wants – instead of giving in to the hysterical bleating from the political factions and their heavily-warped agendas that would have us sentenced to become Rickshaw Nation overnight, then there will be vehicles out there that will fit your needs – even if they have the "Three Letters of Doom” attached to them - and we’ll be just fine.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

(Images courtesy of the Ford Motor Company)

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

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The Autoextremist Interview: Reddy Kilowatt – The Man, The Myth and The Mystery.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

Detroit. Editor-in-Chief’s Note: Conceived and created by Ashton B. Collins Sr. for the Alabama Power Company, Reddy Kilowatt made his debut on March 11, 1926, as an ambassador for the use of electric power. Reddy was so popular that he was eventually licensed by over 300 electrical companies across the United States. He starred in local ads, a comic book and even a movie at one point. But then, things got weird, as we like to say.

Much to Reddy’s (and his creator’s) chagrin, some rural electric cooperatives and public utility districts created a competing character named Willie Wiredhand. Willie had electric plugs for his legs and feet, a lamp socket for his head, and strange hand coverings rendered to look like farming gloves. This did not go over well with Reddy or Mr. Collins, so Collins sued WIlle’s corporate handlers – the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association – for trademark infringement in 1957 and promptly lost. The court found that the two characters were distinctly different.

Bitter and disillusioned, Reddy soldiered on knowing there was a rip-off artist out there nipping at his heels in rural America, and even though his popularity continued, deep down Reddy could smell a change in the air, and it wasn’t just the Iowa cornfields, or the pot smoke hovering over the 60s. As the use of electrical power in this nation shifted from a growth strategy to an energy conservation platform, Reddy's visibility gradually waned. And it wasn’t too long before he was relegated to the scrap heap altogether, discarded like ahem, an old, burned-out lightbulb.

The rights to Reddy were bought by the Northern States Power Company back in 1998, and that company set about to manage Reddy's affairs, creating a subsidiary focused solely on Mr. Kilowatt. But he was rendered irrelevant again when that company created a character named Reddy Flame, who was tasked to promote natural gas. Despondent, Reddy went into seclusion, never to be heard from again. Until now. We tracked Reddy to an undisclosed location in rural Wisconsin and after harassing him relentlessly over several months, he agreed to meet me last weekend in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin, to talk on the record, for the first time in 85 years.

I met Reddy in the parking lot of the famed Siebken’s bar in downtown Elkhart Lake. He was taller than you might think and his lightning bolts much redder than I expected – his dayglow yellow shoes were shockingly vibrant too - and his fixed grin was more than a little off-putting, to be honest. And the sound he made was eerie, kind of like a combination bug-zapper and microwave. Weird. But he seemed eager to get on with it, so without further ado the one and only Reddy Kilowatt, in all of his cantankerous, high-wattage feistiness. – PMD

PMD: Reddy, can I call you Reddy, by the way? You’ve been in seclusion for years, is that by choice?

RK: Yes, I had been ripped-off, humiliated and marginalized to the extent that it didn’t matter anymore, I just couldn’t take it and I just couldn’t go on. And Reddy is fine. It’s better than Mr. Watt, which some jack-ass called me back in ‘36. I mean, really, do I look like a “Mr. Watt” to you?

PMD: Well, frankly, no. But I did notice you’re remarkably well-preserved. And nice shoes, by the way.

RK: Thanks, I think, and of course I’m well-preserved. I have current running through me constantly, like 5,000 volts at any one time. I get a jolt every morning, if you know what I mean. (Reddy has a big stupid grin on his face that eerily never changes) Get it? Jolt? Volts? God, I crack myself up sometimes. (He also has this odd cackle when he amuses himself, and his lightbulb nose flashes like a strobe when he laughs. Weird.)

PMD: Uh, yeah. So, Reddy. Why talk now, and why me?

RK: Well, you’re a persistent S.O.B., I’ll give you that. And Andrea-Marie thought it would be a good idea to talk to someone after all these years. That it might make me less cranky.

PMD: I hesitate to ask, but who the hell is Andrea-Marie?

RK: Andrea-Marie Ampere. She’s a descendant of the famed Andre-Marie Ampere, the French math whiz and physicist. He was a very big deal, like the godfather of electrodynamics, among other things. I met Andrea-Marie in Paris back in 1958. After we lost that bullshit trial, I went to Paris for a couple of months in the hopes of getting my juice back, and needless to say, “Amp” or “Ampie” or “Miss Amp” as I like to call her definitely got my juices flowin’ again, if you know what I mean. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

PMD: That’s funny - there’s never been any mention of you having a life outside of your power company duties. You wouldn’t be bullshitting me now, would you?

RK: Yeah, well they never mentioned Willie Wiredhand was a fraud and a degenerate gambler either, so now you know.

PMD: Why do I feel like I’m getting the inside story of the people who played the Munchkins in The Wizard of Oz?

RK: Hey, pal, you got me here, so I might as well get it all off my chest in one sitting. And I’m going to let it fly.

PMD: I actually don’t know how anything stays on your chest, uh, seeing as you’re basically a lightning bolt. And by the way, why didn’t “Amp” come with you this morning?

RK: She wanted it to be my show, one-on-one. She’s been pushing me for years to say what I needed to say, and besides, she’s not big on mornings so trust me, it’s much better she’s not here. Besides, we were up late last night partying and watching the latest Terminator movie – great electrical special effects, by the way – and after we put our charges together – repeatedly and enthusiastically, I might add – I let her sleep in.

PMD: Oh my, I think we’ve just crossed the threshold into TMI territory.

RK: What, you don’t think I can have a sex life? Or should I say WATT? (There’s that strobe-enhanced cackling again.)

PMD: Let’s move on, shall we, as the thought of you and Miss Amp getting it on is a bit disconcerting to say the least, although I’m sure it’s… electric? So Reddy, what do you make of all of this “electrification of the automobile” talk? Where do you think this is going, and is it realistic for the current administration to expect electrification to be the be-all and end-all?

RK: First of all, the words “reality” and “realistic” don’t apply to this administration, but thanks for using the word “current,” it always gives me a little charge (his damn strobe nose starts going off again as he cackles to himself). But if we’re speaking of reality here, as much as I’m an obvious booster of electric power, there is no way in hell that this mass electrification of the automobile is going to happen.

PMD: That’s a strong statement, needless to say, especially coming from you. Why do you say that?

RK: We tried it as a nation back at the beginning of the last century, and guess what? It didn’t work. This is a big damn country in case you hadn’t noticed. And we can’t expect these little electric shit boxes to move our goods, take us on vacations to Glacier National Park – I highly recommend that trip, by the way – or power us to a getaway weekend in the Smokies, for instance. It’s just notgonnahappen.com, as you like to say.

PMD: But Reddy, you don’t believe in energy conservation? I know the Green movement basically ended your career so it’s understandable you’d be bitter, but don’t you think we need to conserve our resources and reduce our carbon emissions into the atmosphere?

RK: Yes, of course I do, what do you take me for, a moron?

PMD: Well, no, of course not.

RK: Look, yes we need to watch what the hell we’re doing as a nation. But while some in this country are threatening to banish us back to the Stone Age while pushing Liposuction Fat-powered Lamps and Flintstone-mobiles, China and India are going to keep right on consuming their way to oblivion. Didn’t I just read where China has now exceeded America’s daily energy usage?

PMD: Yes, that just came out this week.

RK: Uh, well, just off the top of my cute little head socket that can’t be good, right?

PMD: Uh, no. It’s definitely a giant heaping, steaming bowl of Not Good, to be exact.

RK: Right. So if there’s no push to get those countries to adapt mass conservation, we’re all toast. And by the way, China’s headlong rush into electric power and electrification is all fine and dandy except for the fact that they have the highest polluting, dirtiest coal-fired plants in the world. How is that going to work? I mean, yeah, I’m an electric ambassador and all that entails – blah-blah-blah – but electrification for electrification’s sake is never a good idea, because something has to generate that electricity, and the way we’re going about it is crazy at this point.

PMD: What do you suggest?

RK: First of all, this administration has to get real. Shoving touchy-feely “green” electric cars down everyone’s throat - when we don’t have the infrastructure to support it – is pure insanity. Who’s going to pay for all of these electric car subsidies so that they’re actually affordable in the real world? Who’s going to spring for all of these on-street charging meters and all of the associated cost that goes with that? That’s right, you and me, the taxpayers. And last time I checked, we’re pretty much tapped-out at this point.  And besides, other than a few HugVilles in California and a three-block area in Manhattan designated by Mayor Bloomberg as a “Shiny Happy Smiley Green Zone” we can’t get there from here.

Secondly, everyone has to get real about the scope of the electric car movement in this country and around the world. Yes, in a few mega cities we’ll see electric vehicles make inroads, but it’s never going to be this idyllic, Shiny Happy world that’s portrayed by this current administration. Electric vehicles for short hops in urban centers make sense, somewhat. But they’re never going to meet our inveterate need to roam, to experience and to explore. Instead, we’ll need to develop alternative fuels – I’m really digging the idea of cellulosic fuel from waste, by the way, and that new OPOC engine – and we’re going to have to learn how to use the energy from the sun more efficiently too. Do I like the fact that we’re dependent on petroleum? No, but to pretend that it’s not going to be around for another 40-50 years is just plain silly.

PMD: Reddy, what about the advancements in battery technology? Doesn’t that excite you?

RK: Excite me? Uh, no. Amp excites me; advanced battery development just pleases me. But again, electric vehicles and electrification are not the salvation for the human condition. I’ve been around for a long time, and I’m confident that there’s a whole bunch of technological developments and inventions coming that we can’t even imagine. As much as it pains me to say it, electricity is just one component of a wide variety of energy solutions going forward, but just one. And as much as I’m proud of my contributions to the cause, I’m a realist. Electricity - and electrification - has very defined limits, even though the people who have a ton invested in selling us on the Electrification Future want us to believe otherwise.

PMD: Interesting - and controversial - coming from who I consider to be the preeminent electrification ambassador of the last century.

RK: Well, thank you, but you know, the only thing I’ve gained after all this time is perspective. One minute you’re hotter than hot and the next minute you’re yesterday’s news, forgotten and ignored. I’m aware of my contributions and I was always aware of my role. When we were trying to build-up the concept of electric power to a nation weaning itself off of oil lamps I served a very important purpose, and I’m very proud of that. But this extreme – I would say blind – rush into electrification for electrification’s sake is going to bite us all in the ass, and hard. It will be more costly, I can guarantee you that. Much more. The Dirty Little Secret? Electricity costs are high. And this whole rebuilding the infrastructure thing will be just the tip of the iceberg of those costs too.

People need to get real – although politicians in California and Washington don’t count, they wouldn’t know real unless it served them a subpoena – and people need to understand that the promise of a Bright Shiny New Day just around the corner because of the electrification of the automobile is unmitigated bullshit. And that’s the High Wattage Truth.

PMD: Funny.

RK: I knew you’d like that.

PMD: Well, Reddy, it has been a distinct honor and pleasure talking to you and we here at AE wish you and Miss Amp the very best in the future.

RK: Well, thank you and I have to admit it wasn’t painful at all. Oh, and one more thing? There’s no such thing as “free” or “cheap” electricity. It simply doesn’t exist. Use wisely, my friends.

-----

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

Subscribe via iTunes:

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The Shit Disturber Cometh.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 7/13, 11:00AM) Detroit. Many months ago, long before Ron Gettelfinger retired as the President of the United Auto Workers union, I predicted that Bob King - the clear heir apparent - had the potential to set back all of the conciliatory, somewhat progressive, and decidedly more realistic discussions and agreements that had marked the union movement at the end of Gettelfinger’s reign. I also suggested that King would go out of his way to blow-up any of this “enlightened” thinking - and of course the reduced union contracts - the ones that fundamentally pressed the “reset” button for the Detroit automakers and allowed them to survive the economic crisis relatively intact while armed with a new competitiveness, in about fifteen minutes or so.

Unfortunately for all of us who are in this business and in this industry - and particularly in this town, state and region - it looks like Bob King’s 15 minutes are at hand. And make no mistake, this is the most unfortunate scenario that could unfold and the biggest bowl of Not Good headed this industry’s way since this nation’s financial crisis itself.

While being subjected to King’s hairball pronouncements and his belligerent demeanor right out of the gate – the tone of which is clearly punctuated by his blind ambition and his uncanny ability to studiously avoid the realities of the modern day global economy at every turn – it’s clear that this guy is a “throwback” to an uglier, much more confrontational era. An era that saw the domestic auto industry acquiesce to a constantly escalating series of demands by the UAW while effectively being held at gunpoint, knowing that if they didn’t “cave” then the gravy train of profitability would be over, even though with each corrosive agreement the table was being set for the bankruptcies that unfolded by the end of 2008.

Forty years of UAW belligerence - compounded by the domestic automakers steadfast unwillingness to put the brakes on the insanity - led this industry down the primrose path to the Abyss, and it damn near meant the destruction of one of the key pillars of this nation’s manufacturing base.

Yes, the domestic automakers were more than culpable, what with their refusal to believe that 1. Anyone else in the world could build a decent car, and 2. Even if they did manage to build something decent, American consumers wouldn’t want anything to do with them.

And we all know how that turned out.

Not only did American consumers embrace the imports in droves, an entire generation walked away from the Detroit Three’s run of slipshod or nonexistent quality vehicles, never to return.

But the UAW didn’t do themselves any favors by making it their mission to consistently ignore the big picture. When it was suggested that the import manufacturers build plants here to help “level the playing field,” that’s exactly what they did, and except for a few glaring instances – NUMMI in California to be exact – the imports avoided the myriad negatives associated with the UAW by ignoring the issue altogether, running non-union plants and making no bones about it. And as the Detroit Three struggled mightily to make money - while being hamstrung with crippling UAW labor agreements - the import manufacturers made even more strides with American consumers, and slowly but surely the domestic automakers saw their share of the market plummet in a continuous downward spiral for the last 25 years.

Then again we know all of this. And I get the fact that King is trying to mark his territory by dusting off the hoary rhetoric from yesteryear in order to get his constituency juiced for the long fight ahead, blah-blah-blah.

But what’s going on this time is different.

Bob King isn’t just dusting off the old rhetoric to generate sound bites for the content-starved hordes in the media; he actually believes the time is right to bomb this industry back to the Stone Age, effectively bringing back the notorious UAW “entitlement” mentality of less work/more pay + benefits with a resounding chorus of “What’s in it for us?” thrown in for old time’s sake.

King’s first offensive aimed at getting back to the bad-old days is to start “informational” picketing at Toyota dealerships – specifically in California but watch for it to spread quickly to other media-visible states – in order to strong-arm Toyota into allowing the unionization of its U.S. plants and to protest Toyota's decision to close its NUMMI plant in Fremont, California, which was closed when GM – Toyota’s partner in the manufacturing facility – went bankrupt.

Not long after Toyota closed NUMMI, it resumed finishing construction of a new facility in Blue Springs, Mississippi, about 200 miles northeast of Jackson - which had been put on hold when the economy slowed - where it will build Corollas, without union labor, of course. This seems to have rankled Mr. King to no end and he just can’t seem to fathom why Toyota would do such a thing.

But given all of the negative evidence pointing to the inherent drawbacks of UAW involvement accrued over the years, why would Toyota consider doing it any other way? So now King is now even more hell-bent on “converting” Toyota’s facilities in the U.S. to become UAW plants.

Memo to Bob King: It’s notgonnahappen.com. Not in this lifetime, or any other lifetime either. That the ship has sailed on the union movement in this country is apparently news only to the old hands clinging to the past at the UAW. Yes, the union movement once served a purpose in the development of industrial America, but that was so long ago that no one currently involved with the UAW can separate the historical facts of that era from the modern day distortions stemming from the union’s warped reality that has been going on for four decades now.

The “entitlement” mantra gleefully idolized by the anointed, hand-holding minions in the UAW became obsolete the moment Toyota and Honda first established their assembly plants in this country. And the death-knell for the UAW – and for the soon to be woefully out-of-touch domestic automakers – was sealed from that moment on too.

But that Bob King is tone deaf to the nuances of the global - and national - reality shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. After all, this guy’s roots are deeply embedded in the UAW’s past. A past fueled by grandstanding histrionics and a maliciously calculated and confrontational intransigence. So it’s no wonder that he’s come out with guns blazing, sounding for all the world like a guy lost in a permanent fog of irrelevance.

What could Bob King do to become even more irrelevant, if that’s possible?

As hard as it is to believe, King is now throwing in his lot with - speaking of grandstanding histrionics - one Rev. Jesse Jackson. You know Jackson as the guy who seems to show up - Zelig-like - whenever there’s a whiff of controversy in need of his “talents.” What you probably don’t know is that this guy has made a career out of shaking down corporate America in the guise of “justice” and “equality” – with the unspoken threat of playing the race card to the media if he isn’t able to extract the amount of the “donation” he wants.

These two blowhards are taking their respective organizations – the UAW and the Rainbow PUSH Coalition – and forming a coalition along with other various unions and organizations to fight for urban revitalization, fair trade and jobs. They’re even organizing a march in Detroit on August 28 to kick-off the campaign for “jobs, justice, and peace.”

Perfect, isn’t it?

In the midst of crawling out of the rubble of two bankruptcies - and trying to make Detroit’s products desirable again - while dealing with the perpetual din of negativity in national media stories about this industry and this city, here comes Bob King doing a pitch-perfect impression of a UAW leader from 1970, with Jesse Jackson trundling along for the ride in case there’s need for hysteria and custom-delivered, agitating sound bites.

How is this helpful? How - after all that has transpired in this industry over the last 24 months - can projecting to the rest of the country that this miserable excuse for a “union” is still involved in the Detroit Three’s fortunes going to get people to view Detroit – and its cars and trucks – in a different light?

I’ll answer that one for you: It won’t.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

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A midsummer’s daydream: Five Things.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 7/6, 9:30PM) Detroit. After last week’s column generated enough buzz and controversy to get a whole bunch of people’s panties in a bunch, I thought it might be a fine time to assess some Things in the business now that we’ve reached the midpoint of another tumultuous year. You know, the kinds of Things that aren’t what they seem, or the kinds of Things that need to be exposed for what they are - without the spin - or the kinds of Things that just are, for no apparent reason other than the “we’ve always done it this way,” ingrained inertia. So here we go…

The Green Horde. The suspension of all rational thought in defense of a Green Nirvana that is simply notgonnahappen.com is just plain ludicrous and further proof that their pap “finger-snap” solutions for this nation’s energy future are not only misinformed and flat-out pathetic, but if we allow our energy future to be hijacked by their woefully misguided ideas and ideals we’ll be living in a third-world country in no time. If the Green Horde’s dogmatic attempts at subjecting the greater population of this country to a mantra of “learning to live without” - while we sit back and watch as our sacrifices make not one damn bit of difference in the Big Picture of things, especially given China’s insatiable desire for an elevated standard of living that will consume every last resource known to man at the rate they’re going - are successful, we will soon realize that the headlong rush to force questionable choices upon us when it comes to this nation’s transportation fleet will result in exorbitant vehicle prices, an overtaxed electrical grid and an unsustainable driving future. I keep waiting for someone - anyone - speaking on behalf of the so-called “Green Intelligentsia” to step forward and admit that this “all-in” stance on electric cars will only result in fulfilling a small part of our vehicle needs going forward - specifically in the urban arena - and to suggest otherwise is simply lunacy.

The blind embracing of Tesla – again, that glorified kit car company that hasn’t produced even a whiff of profit or even demonstrated even the remotest suggestion of being able to bring a mainstream electric sedan to market – is Egregious Example No. 1 and proof-positive that the Green Horde will suspend all vestiges of reality in order to shove their view of a transportation future down the rest of this nation’s throat, even if the infrastructure doesn’t exist to support it now, not to mention the funds to even begin paying for it are nowhere to be found on the horizon.

Blind faith in the “new” or the “next” is one thing - I can embrace and encourage blue sky thinking and innovation as much as the next person - but abject stupidity in the face of a burgeoning reality borders on the criminal.

Our sustainable driving future will be based on a kaleidoscope of options going forward including hybrid, electric, natural gas, diesel, cellulosic ethanol and yes, believe it or not, gasoline. And make no mistake, that last item – and the internal combustion engine that goes with it – will be the dominant motivating factor in our nation’s fleet for at least another two decades, not that you could get anyone from Planet Green to admit it.

That’s Thing No. 1.

Sergio, Sergio, wherefore art thou, Sergio? After trying to get through the beyond tedious “interview” - schmooze-fest conducted by the Wall Street Journal’s Paul Ingrassia over the weekend, I’m really trying to figure out this “thing” that some of the media have for Fiat-Chrysler’s Sergio “I’m smarter than you’ll ever know” Marchionne. Is it the fact that he turned around Fiat against all odds going on several years ago now? That seems to be a lot of it, although Fiat isn’t doing so hot at the moment and hasn’t been for quite some time, so what makes people think that this time around will be automatic for Sergio and Fiat-Chrysler? I simply don’t get it because the facts are stacked against success for Chrysler, and there’s nothing, and I mean n-o-t-h-i-n-g automatic about it. Throughout all of Marchionne’s grandstanding pronouncements it has always been the jaw-dropping volume numbers being bandied about that struck me as disingenuous to say the least. Take the new Grand Cherokee, for example. Make no mistake, it is a fine piece of work, but the assumption that consumers in this market - one that’s losing traction by the minute - will disregard all of the excellent choices out there and jump on board the Grand Cherokee bandwagon as if it were a fait accompli is simply laughable.

Remember, this is a company that has long been off of the consumer radar screens and is just now cranking up advertising and marketing initiatives to get its mojo back. But it’s not that easy and whenever Sergio suggests matter-of-factly that Fiat-Chrysler will meet all targets - no matter how fanciful they might be - his credibility takes another hit. The bottom line at this point is that the new Grand Cherokee will not only have to be a hit, it will have to be a runaway best-seller on top of it to make a dent in moving Sergio’s “Plan” forward. And that’s asking a lot.

But again, everything Sergio says asks for a lot. A lot of suspension of belief and rational thinking from where I sit, to be exact. But that’s just “Sergio’s Way” and we’re all supposed to go along with it. Well, I’m not buying it. Sergio’s plan has more than enough holes that you could easily question just about everything in it. It’s all based on one market number over here, and that assumptive chunk of the market number assigned to Fiat-Chrysler over there, and it’s all supposed to come out in the wash and come good, because after all, “I’ve done it before” as he likes to say.

Well, guess what? The market isn’t cooking like everyone thought it was going to be and the so-called “recovery” is going s-l-o-w. So slow, in fact, that Sergio’s master plan could soon end up in jeopardy, and then what?

Well “then” is what I’ve been saying all along: Sergio’s real “plan” was aimed at establishing Fiat North America in this market on the bones of Chrysler, with minimal investment and cash outlay on Fiat’s part. It wasn't a Chrysler or media-friendly idea at the time he was trying to get everyone's "buy-in" on the idea of Fiat's takeover, but I don't doubt for a moment that's what his true plan was all along. And now that his grandiose plans for Chrysler are so intricately dependent on everything falling into place "just so" - from the economy, to the successful execution of the products and marketing - it's going to be damn near impossible for Sergio to hit his targets. I've been in and around this business for going on too many years to count, and I will tell you that nothing ever comes together “just so” in this business. Ever.

And that’s Thing No. 2.

Toyota credibility? The Oxymoron of the Year. The fact that I’m still writing about Toyota’s problems at this point is simply shocking to me. How this company could fall so far, so fast will fill B-school case studies for decades to come. It’s simply the most stunning corporate implosion in recent memory, well, except for the BP debacle that is, which by the time the disaster in the Gulf plays out will go down as the biggest corporate collapse in recorded history, but I digress. With the latest recall of 138,000 Lexus models – and really, we’re still talking about Toyota product recalls at this point after everything that has transpired? - Toyota can no longer hide the fact that there is, or at least was a fundamental corporate culture at work in its hallways based on deliberate obfuscation, a pattern of stonewalling and a steadfast refusal to admit guilt for anything. It’s as if the powers that be at Toyota started to believe that they were in fact, infallible and that nothing of any consequence would happen to derail their inexorable march to the top of the mountain in the auto business. And that they couldn’t possibly be dropping the ball on quality, no, not possible. Well, it did and now they’re toast. Will they still sell boatloads of cars and trucks? Absolutely. But will Toyota ever enjoy the stature that it once did? In a word, no. It’s just another car company competing for the proverbial “jumpball” in the marketplace that plays out every single business day.

Not Good and Not Pretty by any stretch of the imagination.

And that’s Thing No. 3.

Oh, for the Honda of old. There was once was a pretty damn impressive little car company called Honda. Energized by its total gearhead founder, and reveling in the fact that its official corporate name was the Honda Motor Company, Honda was the car company that marched to a different drummer, fueled by imagination and creativity and powered by a willingness to take chances and push the outer limits of thought when it came to building cars. And build cars they did. Great cars that bristled with innovation and creative thinking while executed to a high standard. Yes, Honda was the one Asian automobile manufacturer that proudly waved its freak flag high, comfortable in the knowledge that what they were putting on the street at that very moment was the very best they could possibly do. Different from everyone else certainly, but usually wonderfully enticing nonetheless.

But alas, things got weird.

Honda got sidetracked chasing segments they didn’t belong in, while losing sight of its founder’s vision. In short they started playing it safe, pulling back on the throttle when in the past they would have pushed down harder. Soon creativity gave way to a sober predictability - both in their designs and in their thinking - and everything Honda became known for was systematically watered-down or neutered to the point that the company and its products were barely recognizable. Today, Honda is flailing about while clearly lacking focus and direction. Its products are woefully predictable - the new CR-Z is a massive disappointment with its blatantly “safe” execution, like they pulled up halfway through and called it good - and a car that would have never seen the light of day at the “old” Honda.

Honda, the company that once regularly stood this industry on its ear with its rampant creativity and innovational prowess, has been running on autopilot for too long now. A creeping conservatism has swept through its ranks and now the company is filled with upper management types who could easily blend in at any other car company, but who wouldn’t have passed muster at the “old” Honda not all that long ago.

Something has got to give. We need and want the “old” Honda back. This industry desperately needs the “old” Honda back to show how it’s done and to demonstrate what’s possible when you allow creative thinking to run unfettered and free.

And that’s Thing No. 4.

GM: A Giant in training or the two-steps forward, five-back mobile frustration app of yesteryear? I get that everything that GM is doing right now has a cadence and purpose. Big Ed is allowing his top lieutenants to do their thing and GM might just have the best team in place that it has had in years, maybe even decades, because in the recent past, when GM would have its financial shit together something else would be weak. Or if it had its engineering and design functions firing on all cylinders, its marketing would be pathetically out of touch. It was always something in the GM of yesteryear, whether it was the wrong people, the paralyzing structural bureaucracy or the mind-numbing processes, GM managed to bring any shred of momentum to a screeching halt before it even got out of the gate simply by the sheer force of its own ineptitude.

But everything has changed. And now, GM not only isn’t making excuses, it’s focusing on making the best cars and trucks possible, with everyone seemingly - remarkably enough - on the same page. I won’t bother throwing the names of the people who deserve the credit (they know who they are) around right now because there’s no need for anyone down at the RenCen to stop for anything. They need to have the attitude ingrained that nothing has been “fixed” and nothing has been “won” and if they stick to that they’ll be just fine.

But two things concern the hell out of me about this company. One is the Chevrolet Volt. The Volt will not be an automatic home run by any stretch of the imagination. Once the Green Swells in California and D.C. get their fill of it, then what? We’re talking about a car that has been dissected and displayed for going on two years now in its present, finished form. Once the novelty wears off I believe the Volt could be the toughest marketing job of this or any other year. It’s a giant “we’ll see” at the very least.

Secondly, as good as the Chevrolet Cruze is – and it best be better than they say it is – there’s no question that its conservative design language will play against it, no matter how good it is. The odd thing about the Cruze is that for all its built-in goodness it doesn’t have “new” written all over it. Instead it reeks of “familiar GM,” which is about the last thing that car needs.

It’s going to be interesting to say the least because those two vehicles are not only the future of Chevrolet - they’re the future of GM to boot.

And that’s Thing No. 5.

Halfway through 2010 and we’re just getting warmed up. Fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen - it’s going to be a wild ride.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

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Caution: You’re entering the Notgonnahappen.com Zone.

By Peter M. De Lorenzo

(Posted 6/29, 3:30PM) Detroit.

“You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, the Twilight Zone.”

- Rod Serling

Little did I know that one of the most creative television shows from the late 50s-early 60s - The Twilight Zone, by creator Rod Serling – would seem so eerily appropriate in these “Dog Days” of summer. But there’s certainly enough craziness and weirdness – and cessation of rational thinking - to go around right now to make even the most seasoned observers in this business stop and ask, WTF?

Let’s start with the whole Tesla Motors charade. As in are you kidding me? Really? The frenzy going on out there right now for the Tesla IPO is simply stupefying. Are people really that gullible, naïve, flat-out stupid, etc., etc., enough to talk themselves into going “all-in” on a glorified kit car company that has managed to cobble together 1,000 wildly overpriced $100,000 sports cars for sale in the entire history of the company? And that has managed to lose $246 million over the last three years while doing it? And now they want to raise money in an IPO to allegedly – and I mean that in the strongest possible terms – build a new “Model S” that will supposedly be “affordable” at $50,000 and will instantly transform the auto industry overnight?

Remember the old adage that there’s a sucker born every minute? Memo to all of you out there screwing yourselves into the pavement while chomping at the bit to get a piece of the action: Welcome to the Club.

A Club, by the way, that was unfortunately endorsed by the rumbling, bumbling, stumbling idiots in our Federal government at the Department of Energy who ponied-up a staggering $465 million loan to Tesla so they could build a Shiny Happy Green factory that would build Shiny Happy Green Smiley cars someday that will more likely than not never see the light of day, at least not in the volumes that anyone is dreaming about anyway. 

As a matter of fact I will predict right now that this will be the current administration’s equivalent to the Northern Ireland/John Z. DeLorean fiasco that ended so badly. Don’t think so? Tell me what’s different? A bright, egomaniacal P.T. Barnum-like character with a vision and a plan - oh, let’s call it for what it really is - an idea that’s wrapped in a frickin’ wing and a prayer - but with not enough cash to see it all the way through and who manages to talk a government entity into partially bankrolling it.  Sound familiar?

What? The IPO makes it different? How so? That just means more investors will be hurting when it blows up real good. And what about the fact that Toyota “invested” $50 million in Tesla Motors? Well, let’s see, Toyota destroyed most if not all of the good will they had accumulated in California when they closed the NUMMI facility and threw their employees under the bus. So they throw $50 million at Tesla, let them exist in a tiny corner of the largely unoccupied NUMMI facility, tell them to hire back some of its workers and call it good. That’s not a ringing endorsement by any stretch of the imagination, that’s just Toyota distributing some guilt money around and trying to look like upstanding corporate citizens for doing it.

(Oh, I almost forgot, Daimler partnered with Tesla to develop an electric version of the Smart car, too, but this development is so insignificant as to barely even warrant a mention, by the way.)

The Bottom Line in all of this?

People want to believe in the electrification of the automobile as the savior of all mankind to the extent that they’re making stupid calls – and investments – on a business that they don’t have even the first clue about. Will the electrification of our transportation system be a factor going forward globally? Absolutely. But the electrification “revolution” will be confined to massive urban centers where these kinds of cars can and will – in certain applications - make sense. People have to remember that electrification will be just one part of a bigger picture of energy resources involving every possible combination of fuel on the horizon now, and some we haven’t even imagined yet.

Tesla? This company hasn’t made any sense since Elon Musk started popping-up on the daytime business TV shows selling himself as some sort of modern day reincarnation of Billy Durant, and the gullible minions started getting in line to kiss his aura. Remember that at the time this guy was riding the wave of the Chrysler and GM bankruptcies, exploiting Detroit’s “failures” for all they were worth and insisting every step of the way that he would not only “show” Detroit how it’s done but that Silicon Valley would be the new center of the automotive universe. And some pretty smart people who should have known better suspended all rational thinking long enough to get sucked in. And witnessing the stunning success of the IPO today, they’re still getting hooked by the minute.

Well, guess what? Elon Musk is “broke” by his own admission, and to make matters worse he’s in the midst of an ugly divorce that will be sure to – one way or the other – remove the whole enterprise from under his control.

And then who will be left holding the bag? Yup, you guessed it, our esteemed braniacs in the Department of Energy who threw money at Tesla on the come – which means the collective “us” out in the real world outside Washington, D.C., get stuck with the bill – and countless financial institutions and individual investors out there who were all looking for the next “silver bullet” and that “100 percent sure thing” that would have surely put them over the hump and on easy street.

Oh, and one more thing, let’s not forget the other giant electric pipe dream that is lurching toward trouble as you read this. It seems that Henrik Fisker (speaking of P.T. Barnum) is having some major financial problems with getting his much-vaunted $88,000 Fisker Karma plug-in luxury GT car off the ground. Production was supposed to start this year but now it has been pushed back until next year at the earliest. Wait a minute - didn’t Fisker get over a half a billion dollar loan from the government too? Yup, he sure did.

The automobile business looks so easy to the countless “experts” out there who just know if given the opportunity they’d do it better than an industry that has been up and running for going on 125 years.

Well, folks, it just doesn’t work that way, especially with new technology that requires massive research and development, and massive amounts of investment cash on top of that.

I’m all for the kind of creativity, innovation, vision and the pioneering entrepreneurial spirit that forged this industry from its beginnings. We will need all of that and more to solve this nation’s – and the world’s – energy needs going forward. But the history of the transportation business is littered with people who had a good idea and nothing else, whose runaway ego drove themselves – and their investors - to financial ruin.

I submit Exhibit A - Tesla Motors - and Exhibit B - Fisker Automotive - as the latest examples of entities with too much ego-infused hype, too much runaway hubris and too much blind faith in their abilities – and in OPM (other people’s money) – to let a nagging little thing like reality creep into the equation.

So to paraphrase the brilliant Mr. Serling…

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known only to electric automotive dreamers. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, between common sense and abject stupidity, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge – albeit limited – of the auto business. This is the dimension filled with rampant delusion. It is an area that we call The Notgonnahappen Zone.

And that’s the High-Octane Truth for this week.

See another live episode of "Autoline After Hours" hosted by Autoline Detroit's John McElroy, with Peter De Lorenzo and friends this Thursday evening, at 7:00PM EDT at www.autolinedetroit.tv.

By the way, if you'd like to subscribe to the Autoline After Hours podcasts, click on the following links:

Subscribe via iTunes:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=311421319

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http://www.autolinedetroit.tv/podcasts/feeds/afterhours-audio.xml