GM CEO Dan Akerson. "Captain Queeg" trashed the Detroit Lions in a speech at an event announcing a $600-million investment in GM’s Fairfax, Kan., assembly and stamping plant, saying, “I hope you don’t feel too bad about the (Kansas City) Chiefs’ recent performance,” Akerson said. “It’s not like you’re Lions fans.” He didn't stop there. “The Detroit Lions have never been to a Super Bowl, and the last time they won an NFL championship (1957), GM was building the Pontiac Catalina here, and Elvis was topping the charts with ‘Jailhouse Rock’ and ‘All Shook Up,’ ” Akerson continued. Then again, it was predictable. In case anyone needs to be reminded, the Detroit Lions are owned by the Ford family and in Dan's world, Ford is the enemy. Despite his protestations to the contrary and his charitable contributions, Akerson has zero invested in this community. When his tour of duty is done, he will be out of here so fast it will make the media's head spin. Let's hear it from the AE cheerleaders: "Dan, Dan, he's our man, tone deaf and classless to the end!"
Bob King. Editor-in-Chief's Note: The plainly delusional head of the UAW embarrassed himself - yet again - in a rambling interview with The Detroit News last Friday. In typical King fashion he blamed everyone else - while insisting he wasn't blaming anybody - for the UAW's troubles, including Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder, the failure of the Democratic party to bolster his union and the Evil Empire of Nissan. King went so far as making accusations, according to The News, against Nissan's management at its Canton facility, including this: "In Nissan Canton, every level of management in that plant has been involved in threats and intimidation of workers," King said, adding that workers at the Mississippi plant have been told the factory will be closed or future vehicles will be produced elsewhere if they vote to unionize. "It is an attack on human rights, civil rights, worker rights." To Nissan's credit, they blasted back, basically accusing King of not telling the truth, although I'm sure they wanted to use much harsher words. "The UAW's continued attempts to disparage Nissan are unfounded. Over the last 30 years Nissan's U.S. manufacturing operations have built a hard-earned reputation for being ethical, honest and transparent in our dealings with our employees and the communities where we do business," said company spokesman David Reuter. The real issue? King can't for the life of him figure out why no transplant auto manufacturing facility wants anything to do with his union, even though he has been insisting for going on two years now that it would just be a matter of time before they succumb to the UAW's bullying tactics. No, the reality is that it's just a matter of time before the UAW completely implodes due to the weight of its delusional view of the world and its ridiculous intransigence. This just in: It's all over except for the hand-wringing for the UAW. And it's oddly comforting - and comical - that King continues to be the last one to know. - PMD
Ed Whitacre. From a glass ranch in Texas came a double-barrel shotgun blast last week. GM's former short-timing CEO Ed Whitacre--yes, the guy who fired Fritz Henderson and took the top job at the Tubes for less than a year--took to the pages of Fortune to pimp his book on how he supposedly saved the company. In his ego-driven blast, he throws Henderson under a double-decker bus by painting him as a clueless CEO who cannot grasp even basic principles of corporate management.
This is one of those Telecomie moments that is so misguided and hypocritical that it defies description. But let's dispense with one thing first. Was Fritz the guy to lead GM after bankruptcy? No. He's whip smart and by all accounts a first-rate guy. But he was always GM's fix-it guy. In summer of 2009, the Treasury Department had already done the mother of all fix-its by taking GM through bankruptcy. At that point, GM needed a transformational leader a la Alan Mulally or a marketing genius like Lee Iacocca. Fritz had the wrong resume.
But that wasn't Whitacre's reason for canning Fritz. Nope, Big Ed wanted the job for himself. And in his Fortune missive, he goes through Fritz's transgressions. Sin No. 1. He didn't have an organizational chart for Ed to read. This was a "red flag" for Whitacre. Really? An org chart? This is actually hilarious. Say what you want about Fritz, but he was apparently smart enough to keep track of who worked for him. Sin No. 2. He had a herd of 15 to 20 people reporting to him. Gee, Ed, Sergio Marchionne has more than that and Treasury officials fell over themselves to hand Chrysler to him.
Another transgression, in Whitacre's squinty eyes, was Fritz's delivery of detailed reports to the board. He bored the board. Yes, I'm sure all of that dull Motown car talk went right over the heads of that crew, whose auto industry knowledge could fit in a thimble.
And here is the best gem of all. Fritz allowed Bob Lutz into board meetings and let him opine on anything he liked. Ed couldn't understand this. In his own words, Lutz had "been brought back by former CEO Rick Wagoner as vice chairman to oversee the 'creative elements' of products and customer relationships. What that meant, I had no idea." Of course you didn't. Those creative element are little attributes like styling, performance, craftsmanship and all of those silly things auto companies do to juice the adrenaline of the car-buying public. Since Ed spent his career selling minutes on a telephone--and if early adopters of the iPhone are any indicator, not very reliable minutes--of course he wouldn't get that.
On top of it, Whitacre's blast is just one big steaming bowl of hypocrisy and sleazy opportunism. Fritz took over GM knowing that keeping the job would be a long shot. He took it anyway rather than desert the company during the darkest hours in its history.
What did Whitacre do at GM? He deserted the company at one of the most important moments in its history. Months before GM was about to go public, Whitacre surprised his board and quit. And make no mistake, the board was stunned. By Whitacre's own account, they had no CEO search going on, no internal candidates, nada. Since Whitacre is so obsessed with org charts, you'd think he would be smart enough to groom the next person to sit on top of one. Think again. That's why we have Capt. Queeg running the place now. One of a CEO's most important jobs is selecting a successor. Steve Jobs groomed Tim Cook at Apple. Mulally has Mark Fields. Ed had no one. Great job, Ed.
On top of all of that, Whitacre had the nerve to take credit for saving GM. Um, Treasury fixed a century of financial problems with Fritz telling them where everything was buried. Lutz's cars kept sales going. Ed came in, looked around for barely a year and left the company in the lurch. Some savior.
Editor-in-Chief's Note: It's deja vu all over again this week here at AE as our "quick take" has us in the 2013 Audi S8 quattro tiptronic. This is Audi's premier performance-luxury sedan and it exuded ultimate Audi-ness throughout. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture because the weather was beyond shitty this past week and it made the beautiful Daytona Gray paint on the S8 look like a rolling saltine cracker anyway. This is an abbreviated review as well because with the weather as bad as it was, the only driving evaluations revolved around getting in the car, putting the heated seats on full blast, and waiting for the heated steering wheel to warm up. And then going where you needed to go. But then again, that's the reality of driving during the winter around here (except that it's going to be almost 60 here today!), as much of your time is spent in the Urban Slog, just getting from Point A to Point B. And for that role this magnificently equipped S8 might be overkill, but what deliciously beautiful overkill it is. This is my colleague John McElroy's favorite Audi. He loves the RS models and the S7, of course, but he leans toward the big Audi every time. And after having one in one of our worst weather weeks of this young year, I think I concur. - PMD
2013 Audi S8 quattro tiptronic: $125,995 ($110,000 Base Price; Daytona Gray pearl effect; Lunar Silver interior; 4.0-liter TFSI V8 with 520HP and 479 lbs-ft of torque with Audi Cylinder on Demand technology; 8-speed tiptronic automatic gearbox with sport and manual shift modes; quattro permanent all-wheel-drive system with sports rear differential; 21" 5-triple spoke design wheels alloy wheels with summer performance tires; Servotronic vehicle speed-sensitive power steering; Bang & Olufsen Advanced Sound System, $6300; Full Leather package, $5,500; S8 Driver Assistance package - Audi adaptive cruise control with stop & go, Audi pre sense plus, Audi side assist - $2,500; Full LED headlights (LED DRLs, low/high beams, turn signals); S8 Cold Weather package - Heated multifunction steering wheel with shift paddles, heated rear seats, rear seat pass-through with ski bag - $800; Front filler panel; Destination Charge, $895.)
Adherence to Brand Image: As I've stated previously, while Mercedes and BMW continue to engage in their juvenile, old-school sales wars in this market, Audi continues to focus on what it does best, which is to craft fundamental desirability throughout its product lineup. It took fifteen long years to get where Audi is today, and the company did it by focusing on what really matters, which is design and engineering execution (proven at the most prestigious endurance road race in the world, the 24 Hours of Le Mans), and an equally relentless adherence to its newly defined and emboldened image. They went after the influencers in the media and the industry first, then the enthusiasts, and now the consumer public is buying in too. The result? Audi is the new luxury-performance standard. - PMD