June 30, 2010

Keepin' it weird.

By Dr. Bud E. Bryan

Austin. Well, I was going to invite Big Ed out for breakfast at Polvos for some Migas with Chorizo yesterday, but he was all lawyer-ed up and surrounded by earnest minions at his appearance at the Austin Chamber of Commerce - at the Four Seasons no less - so that was notgonnahappen.com. Come to think of it, I would have bought him a Margarita at the bar since he was right there but that was even more of a notgonnahappen.com. Ah well...

Basically the big news that Ol' Ed announced yesterday was that the Volt, the now you sorta see it, now you sorta don't care hype machine er, electric car - excuse me, the extended range electric vehicle - will be offered in Austin as one of the lead cities at launch. It figures, actually. Over the last decade we've watched as Austin has become kind of a hipster getaway, with hipper-than-thou hordes from New York and L.A. plus countless other black-wearing zombies from of-the-moment enclaves from around the world "discovering" us. (Hell, the car companies even found out that this area is a great place to host ride and drives and product intro events for the media, so you know the word is out, seein' as they don't exactly pop-up on the screen when you do a search for "hip")

Needless to say between the hordes overrunning the place during the South by Southwest (SXSW) entertainment orgy, and the movies being made by the boatload - not to mention the whole computer and Internet thing - I mean, we're so hip now that we glow in the dark. And part and parcel with all of that has come the whole Shiny Happy Green crusade, so having the Volt be available in this strategically located hipster enclave - just close enough to L.A. to be convenient, just far enough away from New York to be a destination - makes perfect sense. Besides, Big Ed qualifies as a native Texan, so I figured he'd make sure we all got our Volt on down here.

But as hip as Austin is and as environmentally astute as we're all allegedly supposed to be, I'm happy to report that the "Keep Austin Weird" movement is alive and well. For every sleek and silky-smooth beauty from L.A. or New York, there's a hotter-than-hot U of T coed who can waltz right in and transfix a room with the best of 'em. For every "A-list" Hollywood director there's a slacker wandering the streets who couldn't actually give a shit. For every pontificating computer maven there's a state politician who will show you what pontificating really is. For every flavor-of-the-moment visiting musician there are a ton of musicians hangin' around here who have probably forgotten more than they'll ever know. For every hot chef who has become freshly-enamored with the city and thinks a new destination restaurant is just what we need, there are a bunch of cooks at our local hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurants who could put him or her on the trailer with their sensational - and authentic - cooking all day long.

Austin is a kaleidoscope of hipsters, politicians, sports heroes, musicians, earth mothers, students, green-sters, computer stars and just about everything else you can think of, all coexisting and thriving in one of the prettiest cities in the country. As hip as people want us to be, we're perfectly content with doin' our own thing, whatever that may be. Maybe that's the inherent appeal of this place. We all sort of get along and we all let each other do and pursue whatever it is we find worth doing and pursuing. If you can stand the summer and early fall heat, if you love big-time football (Texas style, of course), you've been known to stop at a Mexican restaurant at least twice a week (and you have at least three favorite places for different kinds of tastes), you think nothing of going out to hear some great music in the middle of the week (no matter if people your age in other cities are already in bed), and you like the vibrancy of youth that comes with living in a college town, well, sir, it's all good.

So bring on the Volt, Big Ed, because it will get absorbed into the scene here just like everything else does. And make no mistake, it will get absorbed. There's no celebrity or new product of-the-moment that can supersede Austin itself no matter how much "buzz" is associated with them, or it.

Fortunately Austin is bigger than all of it. If there has ever been a city that collectively marches to a different drummer, Austin is it. We don't "conform" or "comply," we let everyone and everything else figure out how to do that instead.

That's how we Keep Austin Weird, come to think about it.

--------------------

Changing channels. What else is goin' on, you might ask?

Well, Jolene has been spending more and more time in L.A. but we haven't actually had to deal with the finality of a decision - at least not yet. And the fact that I haven't been reporting in blow-by-blow fashion on a weekly basis of what I'm up to down here has helped, at least somewhat.

Oh, that hasn't stopped Annie from duly reporting back to Jolene whenever there's been a "Bud and Janey sighting," which admittedly have been a little too frequent for Jolene's tastes. (I had an unexpected confrontation in the Whole Foods with Annie, where I proceeded to dress her down to the point of tears. And then she got pissed at Tom for not defending her actions, and then Tom proceeded to remind her in no uncertain terms that she wasn't out of the doghouse by any means for the last episode of her meddling, so she clammed up right quick. So that was good at least.

Speaking of Janey, I am attending a pool party this weekend at her house in Dallas, which is probably not a good idea - or a great one depending on how you look at it - because there will be at least 20 soon-to-be-sophomore coeds frolicking and preening in various sates of undress by the pool. I figure it will be one of those uplifting, life-altering moments that I just can't pass up. Needless to say, I'm honored Janey wants me there. But then again, as she reminded me the other night, "Bud, I want you to be on your best behavior, there will be moms and dads present, so keep your ogling to a discreet minimum."

I then reminded her who the queen shit disturber was at the last infamous pool party, and she got in a snit and wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the evening. Just keepin' it real is all...

And I'm happy to report that Nadine is alive and kickin', full of piss and vinegar - and tequila - as always. I just saw her yesterday for lunch in fact and she had me on the floor regaling me with her latest exploits at "the club." She had organized a giant karaoke drunk-fest last weekend and she appeared as Lady GaGa - at one point pulling all her clothes off except for a nude thong and pasties - to the uproarious delight of the crowd. Ol' Chucky isn't speaking to her, but "He'll get over it, he always does" she said, confidently.

And no doubt he will.

And my Chiseled Form, my mythical Last Chance at Youth, and The One that I Can Never Have is slipping away from me, I can just feel it.

And it hurts real bad.

I'll get through it somehow. I think.

Adios until the next time.